


Do You Like Irish Food?

by BlackKyber



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren Fluff, Cooking, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Dinner, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Gay Male Character, Getting to Know Each Other, I Ship It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Kylux - Freeform, Loneliness, Love, M/M, One True Pairing, Short & Sweet, Sibling Bonding, Star Wars - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23705428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackKyber/pseuds/BlackKyber
Summary: Ben Solo is going through a transitional period in his life. After suffering a death in the family, he finds himself in new surroundings, with a new job, and new neighbors. One of which is a bit friendlier than the grief-processing Ben is ready to handle just yet.... or IS he?
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo
Comments: 24
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

“Ben! Wait up a sec!”

 _Oh, shit,_ Ben thought to himself, trying to control his frown. _It’s this dude again._

The Highland Ridge Apartment Complex was one of the nicest Ben had ever lived in. Not fancy, by any means; but clean, in a good area, close to Ben’s job, and affordably priced. Ben had moved in right before the onset of the previous winter, feeling that he’d needed a change in his life; up until then, he’d been living with his mother in a cramped 1-bedroom, his ‘room’ being the living room couch. But he’d had no other choice; his mother had been sick, and seeing as how Ben’s father had left them years ago, Ben was the only one who could care for her.

And he did.

He had loved his mother immensely, and when she’d passed a few days after Thanksgiving, he had been heartbroken. 

He’d been fortunate enough to have a friend who turned him on to Highland Ridge. And not a moment too soon; his mother’s memory was all over the old apartment, and he’d been slowly going crazy staying there after her death.

But this new place was nice.

After being restricted to a fold-out couch for so long, Ben’s full apartment now almost seemed extravagant, in comparison. And he was getting his life back on track in other ways, too. He got a new job, working nights in a shipping warehouse. The hours had taken some getting used to, but the pay was excellent, and he liked his co-workers. He was also planning on enrolling in the community college come fall, so he could finish out the degree that had been put on hold when his mother got sick.

Everything was going great, except for one itty bitty problem: the guy who was walking up to him now, one of the complex’s residents, Armitage Hux.

It was around 8am, and Ben has just gotten off of work about a half-hour ago. Last night had been a busy one, and he was more than ready to hit the sack. He had stopped to check his mailbox down at the kiosk, and no sooner had he closed the box than he had heard the all-too-familiar voice call out to him. 

So Ben stopped walking, feeling awkward as Hux rapidly approached him. This guy ... what the hell was up with him, anyway? Why did he always look so fucking excited to see Ben? After all, Ben had barely spoken 10 full sentences to him since the day he had moved in, and that was over 6 months ago! Hux had introduced himself, asked Ben some standard questions about himself, and that had been it; that had been their longest extended interaction.

And after all this time, Ben still didn’t know much about Hux himself. He’d managed to gather that he lived alone, he worked part of the time and the other half he was attending a Culinary Arts school in the nearby town. Otherwise, nothing.

Yet any time Ben was on his way to work, or stepped out to check his mailbox, there that guy was. Watching. Smiling. _Waving._

Did ... did Hux LIKE him?  
Was that what it was?

Ben already thought Hux was gay; he’d seen Hux’s apartment door way back when he’d first moved in, and the thing was covered top to bottom in rainbow stickers.

Which was fine, if Hux was like that. Ben didn’t give too much of a shit what other people’s preferences were; live and let live, was his philosophy. Ben himself had always identified as a bisexual man, so Hux’s (possible) feelings wouldn’t seem strange or foreign to him.

But ... Hux just wasn’t his type. He was too cheerful, too upbeat, too SOMETHING that Ben found himself rejecting. They could be friends, maybe ... but if Hux’s smiling and waving and perfectly-timed “coincidental” run-ins with Ben meant that he wanted something MORE, then, well —

“Oh ... hey.”

“You know, I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what?”

“Go to work all night. I couldn’t do that; I’d be way too tired.”

Ben shrugged uncomfortably. He was, in fact, _very_ tired from his night, and wasn’t in the mood to stand there in the bright sun and make conversation with this red headed weirdo. Ben could almost swear he heard his bed calling for him, and it got louder with every second he stood there.

“Not so bad,” Ben answered, shifting so that he was starting to face away. “Not when you sleep all day, anyway.”

“At least your job keeps you healthy, huh? I mean, you’re really in shape. Probably from all the walking and lifting, right?”

“Um, yeah, I guess.”

He started to walk away, but Hux either wasn’t picking up on Ben’s closed-off body language ... OR he was just ignoring it. He followed after him, still talking.

“Do you work tonight, too?”

Ben shook his head. He was at his door now, and his tired fingers fumbled in his pocket for his key. “Nope. Off the next two nights, actually.”

Hux nodded. Ben managed to get his door unlocked, and was about to say Goodnight and (politely) shut the door, when Hux asked,

“Does that means you get to sleep all night, as well as all day, then?”

Ben had to stifle a sigh. _Come on, man ... go away already._

“No. I’ll sleep until about 6 like I always do, then be up the rest of the night. It messes with my sleep schedule if I don’t.”

Hux nodded as if he’d thought as much, and then, sounding somewhat timid, “Um, do you like Irish food?”

“I ... uh ... I guess? I like corned beef and cabbage, does that count?”

Hux nodded, and then, “So my dad’s coming in from Ireland this weekend. I thought I’d try and surprise him and make a nice Irish meal for him. But the stuff I’m learning at school is more fancy, you know, and my dad likes simple, down to earth foods. So I though it would help if I had someone to practice on first. So um, if you have the time tonight, do you ... maybe want to come over, for dinner?”

Ben blinked, surprised. He hadn’t expected that. And while he didn’t exactly fancy the idea of spending time with this guy, the thought of a home-cooked meal sounded vastly more appealing to him than the canned soups, frozen dinners, and greasy fast food he’d been living on the past few weeks.

“Sure,” Ben agreed, and this time he couldn’t stop the small yawn that slipped out. “What time?”

“You said you got up at 6? How about, around 7, then?”

“Okay, I’ll be there.”

“You know which apartment is mine, right?”

Again, Ben nodded. And even if he hadn’t known ... Hux’s door certainly wasn’t hard to miss, not with all that rainbow paraphernalia covering it.

“Okay then. See you later, have a good sleep!;” and then Hux was off, walking quickly down the hall. 

— —

Even after so much time had passed, waking up was still a bit of a muddle for Ben.

In his mind, before he opened his eyes, he ran through the things he needed to do.

_Gotta get mom her pills; need to make sure she takes the blue one with food. Should probably heat her up some soup. When is her next doctor appointment again? I hope I remembered to write it on the calendar this time. Oh later I need to —_

Ben’s eyes suddenly snapped open, and he laid there for a few seconds with that all-too-familiar sense of disorientation. Then, bit by bit, it came back to him: he was in his new apartment. It was early evening, the sun shining into his room through the western windows. And his mom was —

Ben sat up and yawned, stretching his hands out over his head. 

“Hungry,” he mumbled to himself, forcing himself up and to the kitchen. But just as he was opening the refrigerator door, it dawned on him:

Hux.

Had he just dreamt this, or had he agreed to have dinner at Hux’s house tonight?

He sat at the kitchen table and thought about it hard, until he could replay the (real) conversation the two had had.

He glanced at the clock: 6:25. What time had he said he’d be there again? 7?

After some debate, Ben decided to take a shower before he went over. Not because he was trying to be fancy or anything, but because he always sweat in his sleep, and it would probably be gross going to someone’s place for dinner like that. 

When he came out, he rubbed the towel over his head and stopped, as he often did, in front of his hall closet. Inside was a plethora of boxes of items that had belonged to his mother, several of which were loaded with bottle upon bottle of wine.

_Maybe I should bring a bottle over to him ..._

“You don’t need to bring him anything,” he answered his own thought out-loud. “It’s not like this is a fucking DATE, Ben. You’re just trying out some food that dude’s gonna be cooking for his dad. He basically invited you as a guinea pig, that’s all.”

He walked away from the closet and into his bedroom, to get dressed.

— —

“This is for you,” Ben said, hoping he didn’t sound as awkward as he felt, as he handed the wine bottle to Hux.

It was about half an hour later, and Ben had finally made it to Hux’s apartment. He’d had a few moments of trouble finding Hux’s place; all of the rainbow stickers and such weren’t on Hux’s door anymore. But looking closely at where he thought it was, Ben could just barely make out the outline of where several stickers had been. So he’d knocked, and was relieved when Hux answered the door.

Hux led him into his living room (which was, as his door had been, cheerful and colorful) and had him sit, explaining the food still had a few minutes to go before everything was ready. Now Hux was looking at the wine with what seemed like awe.

“Ben ... this is really old, and super-fancy. A bottle like this has to be worth a small fortune.”

Ben just waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it. Um, my mom, she was a collector of old and rare wines. Before she got sick, anyway. When she passed her collection went to me; I’ve literally got a closet stacked full. And I don’t drink, so it’s just going to waste sitting there.”

“You don’t drink? Why?”

Ben bit his lip. _Because my dad was an alcoholic,_ he thought to himself. _And I’d rather cut my throat then be anything like the man who walked out and left us broke and desperate and alone._

“Alcohol upsets my stomach. Always has,” he answered after a while, forcing a more ‘natural’ look on to his face.

“Will you be offended if I drink—?”

“Nope. I brought it for YOU, after all. Drink up.”

“Well what about you? I mean, you want a bottle of water, or tea, or a soda, something?”

“Soda is fine.”

“Coke okay?”

“Yep.”

Hux went back into the kitchen, and while he was in there, Ben thought of a question to change the subject.

“So what happened to your door?”, he asked, while Hux handed him the cold red can. “All the stickers, I mean.”

Hux sat beside him with a little sigh. He had a corkscrew in hand, and he set to work opening the wine.

“Oh, that,” Hux said, making a face. “Last week the landlord knocked on my door and asked me to take it all down. Said he’d had complaints from some people about how my decorations were ‘ruining the dignified integrity of the complex’, as he put it.”

He got the cork out, and was pouring the wine into a shiny glass.

“Are you serious?”, Ben asked, in disbelief. “Who the hell takes the time complain about a little color on someone else’s door??”

Hux shrugged. “People have time on their hands, I guess. It’s not a big deal.”

Hux took a sip of his wine, and his eyes went wide with delight. “Holy shit, this is fantastic! It’s so _sweet_!”

“Good; I’m glad you like it. And you’re a bigger man than me, Hux. Because I wouldn’t have just let the door thing go.”

“Really?”

“Mm. Hey you know what you should do? When it’s Christmas time again, and people start putting up wreaths and lights and stuff on THEIR doors, you should complain about that. It’s the exact same thing, after all. Hell, I’ll even go complain with you.”

Hux laughed a little at that. “I can see that being in the newspapers; ‘Gays Wage War On Respectable Christian Tenants’.”

He stood up and said “I think my final dish is about done. I’ll be right back,” and then he left Ben alone. Ben, was surprised. What did Hux mean by “gays”? Was he including Ben in that fantasy headline? Should Ben correct him when he came back in (and tell him that he was Bi, which was more information than he wanted Hux to know), or should he just let it go?

Before he could think of a good answer, Hux came back in, saying, “Everything’s ready now!”

Ben went into the kitchen, and was a bit surprised: he hadn’t expected to see so much food. There were only 3 dishes on the table, but almost each one was overflowing with its food.

Had Hux really made all of this ... for him?

“Okay, now, I’m going to give you one thing at a time, starting with what’s basically appetizers and working up to the main, then dessert, and I want you to give me your absolute honest opinion on everything you eat. Okay?”

Something about the way Hux had said that, so anxious, made Ben smile. He sat down and said, “Okay; lay it on me.”

The first dish that Hux put in front of Ben was a large blue bowl of what appeared to be mashed potatoes, with chives. Ben took the spoon and put some on his plate, then took a cautious bite. This was ... different. It was definitely potatoes, but the consistency was different, and the green ... Ben wasn’t sure it was chives after all.

“What is this called?”

“Ah. That’s called colcannon,” Hux told him, pronouncing the word carefully. “Basically mashed-up potatoes with lots of butter and pepper, mixed with some sautéed cabbage.”

“Really?”, Ben asked, lifting up a forkful to his face, to look at it closely. “That’s crazy, I can barely even tell that that’s  
cabbage. Well this whole thing tastes great. It’s more solid than normal mashed potatoes, and it’s like, peppery. Not hot but peppery. I love that; I like when there’s a kick to my food.”

“Thanks,” Hux replied, smiling. “Some people put in kale instead of cabbage, or WITH the cabbage, but I’m not the biggest fan of kale. Plus all the added green makes it look more like a salad than potatoes, and I’m not really into salads, either.”

“Me, either.”

When Ben was done with that, Hux rotated dishes and set another mystery dish in front of him. This one was a platter of what looked like golden pancakes ... except they weren’t perfectly round like pancakes, and they had tiny flecks of green in them.

“This one is a favorite of my dad’s. It’s called ‘boxty’; basically pancakes but they’re made from potatoes, buttermilk, an egg and some green onions.”

Ben put two on his plate, and took a bite. Another smile; Hux clearly knew what he was doing in the kitchen.

“Shit, this is really good, too. When you said pancakes I thought they’d be sweet, but these are more savory and smooth. But you said ‘pancakes’; is this something that you’d make for breakfast?”

“It can be. But since it’s potatoes I think it works good anytime. When I was a kid me and dad would visit my grandma and she’d always make this for my dad, no matter what time it was.”

Then he snapped his fingers and stood up, going to his refrigerator. “Darn, I forgot ... I wanted you to try some jam on yours.”

“Jam? On a potato pancake?”

Hux nodded. “You don’t have to put it on, they taste good all alone, but grandma always put out a little jar of homemade jam. Makes them taste sweet but not too sweet.”

Ben reached over and took a tiny spoonful of the jam, carefully spreading it over one of his pancakes, before taking a cautious bite. Immediately his face lit up in a smile.

“God ... this must be what crack tastes like!”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. I made that jam myself, too, at school. Equal mix of fresh strawberries and blackberries, slowly simmered with sugar.”

“How long have you been going to Culinary school again? Because if you’re not the top of your class, I call Fraud.”

Hux smiled, and ... was he blushing? Did Ben’s comment actually make him blush? Surely not; it was warm in here, after all.

Ben took three more pancakes before he was done; he could easily have eaten the whole platter, but there was more food to come, and he needed to pace himself. Yet even as he thought that he also heaped another generous ladle of the colcannon on his plate. Mixed with the boxty, it was phenomenal.

“Okay,” Hux said, putting another dish in front of him. “This is more of a main dish.”

Ben looked; it was a pie or a cake of sorts, but it was square instead of round. There were holes poked along the top of the flaky brown crust, sending a tantalizing smell directly into Ben’s nose. Involuntarily, and despite how much food he’d already packed away, his mouth started to water.

“What is this?”

“Beef and Guinness pie,” Hux told him, cutting him a generous piece. “I don’t want you to worry with the not-drinking thing, though; there’s less than a cup in there, and the “alcohol” part of it turns into more of a robust sauce when it’s cooked. There’s also braised beef sirloin, mushrooms, peas, carrots, red potatoes, tomato paste, and worchestire sauce.

Ben took a bite, and his eyes widened. 

“Jesus ... this is spectacular,” he proclaimed, cutting off an even bigger chunk with his fork. “But you’re sure there’s Guinness in this? I can’t taste it at all.”

“Yep. But like I said, when you cook it with the other stuff it ends of tasting more like a sauce than like beer. Plus it makes the whole thing thicker, if that makes sense.”

“Speaking of thicker ... you’re going to turn me fat, here,” Ben said, patting his stomach. “I feel like a pig but Hux, I’m about to ask you for another piece and I haven’t even finished this one yet.”

Hux laughed. “Help yourself to as much as you want,” he told him, leaning back in his chair. “In fact, if you don’t mind, I think I’m going to send a lot of this home with you. My fridge is already crammed; I don’t quite have the room for so much stuff.”

“No objections here,” Ben replied, now cutting his second piece. “But you’re not eating much at all.”

Hux shrugged. “It’s a chef’s thing, I guess. Making food kinda takes away your energy for eating it. I’ll probably get up at midnight or something and snack on this stuff.”

Here he paused and smiled, saying,

“You should save some room, by the way. Don’t forget dessert.”

“Dessert?”

Hux went to the oven, and, using mitts, pulled out what looked like a square white cake.

“This is Irish apple cake. Basically just apples, cloves, nutmeg, cinnamon, a splash of sherry, and eggs and sugar.”

He went to his fridge and pulled out a little sauce-serving dish, and put it in front of Ben. “This is a sweet-cream custard. You pour it over the cake like ... like you would ice cream, or frosting.”

Ben cut a piece of cake and poured the sauce as directed. 

“Hux ... why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you do this to me? Why would you give me such delicious food? This is spoiling me! It’s bad enough every single thing you’ve given me, including this cake, hits like some powerful drug; but now I’ve gotta reconcile myself with having to go back home to all the sad boring crap I always eat.”

“Well ... well whenever you have time, you’re always welcome over here. Like I said my cooking isn’t _always_ the best, but at school I’m always learning new things, and I’m always practicing and experimenting.”

Hux began clearing the table (after Ben insisted he couldn’t eat another bite), as well as packing up several to-go containers for him, as promised. Ben offered to help him, but Hux told him to “Sit there and digest; I don’t have liability insurance for people exploding from a full stomach.”

“So, do you want to be a chef, when you graduate from school?”

Hux nodded. “Yeah. I’ve got a long way to go, but one day I’d really love to have my own restaurant. I’d call it Sarah’s, after my mom.”

“Well, don’t ever give up on that, okay? I swear I’ll be your best customer.”

Was Hux blushing, from that?  
Or was it just the lighting in here?

“Actually, you’d probably be my worst customer, because I’d never let my staff charge you for anything.”

Shit ... was BEN blushing, now?  
Or was it just the lighting in here?

Hux found a grocery bag in a cabinet, and packed Ben’s containers together into it, to make it all easier for him to carry home.

“I just hope my dad is as big a fan of everything as you were.”

“Why the hell wouldn’t he be?”

Hux hesitated, then sat back down and said, “He’s a hard one to please. Um, you know he was never a fan of my, uh, my ‘lifestyle choices’, and when I told him I was going to culinary school, he had some words about that, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Dad is one of those manly-man types, you know? He thinks men should be builders, landscapers, do construction, things like that. So he doesn’t really like my wanting to be a chef. But I thought maybe if I blow him away with my food, he might see that this is something worthwhile, too.”

Ben sat quietly for a few moments, taking that in. All of a sudden, a terribly strong longing for his mother washed over him. He had never realized before just how fortunate he had been, that he’d had a parent who loved and supported him no matter what. Coming out to her as bisexual was something he’d put off for a long time, but when he did, she couldn’t possibly have been any warmer, any more reassuring than she had been that day.

God, he missed her.

And for the first time, he realized how lonely he was without her. And Hux ... Hux seemed kind of lonely, too.

“You ... I feel kinda bad. You just fed me a lot of stuff; all of this together couldn’t have been very cheap.”

Hux waved his hand as if the matter wasn’t important, “Don’t even worry about it, Ben. All C.A. students get really big discounts on the stuff at Thrice market, which is where I got all of this.”

“That must be nice. Still ... um ... you know I’d try and return the favor and invite you to dinner at my place but I can’t cook worth a shit. I mean I can make grilled cheese and microwave some chicken noodle soup from a can but ...”

Hux chuckled at that and shook his head. “It’s okay, really. I’m just thankful I had someone to test my food on. Also ... I really enjoyed your company, Ben. I’ve wanted to ask you to hang out for months but you always seem tired or busy so I didn’t want to bother you. Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“And you promise you won’t get offended?”

“Promise. What is it?”

“Well ... you know I’m gay. I mean you saw my door and I kinda just told you. So I know you know that. But with you, and again not to be offensive if I’m completely wrong, but you give off a vibe sometimes and I was just wondering if ... um, if —“

“Bisexual,” Ben confessed, with a small smile. 

“Oh okay,” Hux said, letting out a small relieved sigh. “I knew it was something. Well, all I’m trying to say is I’m glad to meet someone who’s like me, somewhat. It makes me feel less alone here, as lame as that sounds.”

“I get that. But Hux, why would you want to hang out with me? I’m so boring.”

“No you’re not. You have a lot of interesting things to say. Do you remember when I first met you, and I asked if you needed help getting that chair of yours through the door?”

Ben tilted his head thoughtfully. Now that Hux mentioned it, he DID remember something like that. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought about it ‘til now, but it was understandable: the day Hux had introduced himself (and apparently helped Ben move a chair into his apartment) was a blurred one. Ben had been working all night, then afterwards went straight to his old apartment to move what few furniture items he was taking with him, alone. It was freezing that day, and Ben was already so exhausted that he could have been standing there chatting with Mickey Mouse and not have been aware of it.

“I remember.”

“You had like a dozen boxes on the floor practically bursting at the seams with books. Literally crammed full. I asked if you really read all those and you said, ‘About half. I hope the day never comes when I get through all of them.’”

“I said that?”

Hux nodded. “You did. I thought that was super-interesting. Like I said, you’re an interesting person, Ben.”

Ben took that in silently. Hux ... was pretty interesting, himself. And it seemed he was much more observant than he let on.

“Hux?”

“Yeah?”

“Um ... you know I’m off tomorrow night too. I don’t remember if I already told you that, but I am. I’m going to sleep during the day tomorrow, but when I wake up ... why don’t you come over and hang out? You’ve said before that you like hockey, right? Well, there’s a Timberwolves vs Blackhawks game on at 7:30. You can come over, we can talk, and I can make you that grilled cheese and soup.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Why not?” 

Hux smiled, and the strength of it practically lit up the entire room.

“Okay! I’d like that!”

“Good.”

Ben stood up and had to hold in a groan; he’d definitely over-eaten tonight. “What’s your favorite kind of soup?”

“Well if you’re making grilled cheese, you gotta go with tomato, right? It’s the rule.”

“Agreed.”

He hoisted his bag as Hux walked him to the door, and when they got there, Ben had a moment of hesitation. He wasn’t good with words, but he wanted some way to convey to Hux how much he’d enjoyed the evening. Some personal gesture. A handshake seemed way too formal and a hug seemed way too personal.

Eventually he settled for a warm pat on Hux’s arm.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night,” he said, to which this time, he was 1000% positive: Hux blushed.

Ben left Hux’s apartment with a smile on his face. He felt better than he had in a long time; whether from having a warm meal, or Hux’s warmer disposition.

Or maybe it was just being in the company of someone other than himself (or his mom) for the first time in months. Laughing. Joking around. Not shy like he was at work, or quiet and withdrawn like he was at home. Having an actual conversation.

 _Smiling_.

As he got into his own apartment, he noticed the bunch of fresh, ripe tomatoes that a co-worker had given him, and an idea case to him: Hux said he liked tomato soup. Why not try and make him REAL tomato soup, instead of just opening a can?

He hurried to the closet and dug through his mother’s boxes, until he found her hand-written journal of recipes. Her tomato soup one was relatively simple for even a non-chef like himself, but he remembered it as being delicious nonetheless.

As he read over the ingredients, he began to speak out-loud, softly.

“So I think I’m doing better, mom. I still miss you, I miss you a lot, but I think I’m getting better. And — I think maybe I’ve made a new friend. His name is Hux. He lives on the next floor; he’s in school to be a chef, and —“


	2. Chapter 2

“Ben! You came!”

Ben nodded and stepped closer. “Of course I did. There’s no way I was gonna pass up this much free food.”

It was several weeks later, and Ben, being off, and hungry, had decided to go to this event at the community center that Hux had told him about a few days before.

“It’s basically like a tasting,” Hux had told him from where he sat on Ben’s couch, sipping wine. “But a paid-for tasting. My school is trying to raise money for some new knives, and a confectionary oven.”

“Knives? Okay I get the oven, but you guys have to raise money for _knives_? Shit; I’ve got a bunch in the kitchen you can borrow.”

Hux chuckled and shook his head. “That’s nice, but I’m talking the super fancy knives. The stainless steel, ultra sharp ones. A set of “good” ones cost upwards of $2,000, and considering we’d need more than one set per class —“

“God damn,” Ben said, taking a sip of his water. “And you expect to raise all of that from a bake sale?”

“It’s not a bake sale, it’s a _tasting_. Every student is going to make their speciality dish, and dole it out into sample plates. There’s gonna be over a hundred stands, each with different foods. It’s $30 to get in the door, but then you can get a plate from every place, if you wanted, without paying something for each plate.”

“Do you think a lot of people will come?”

“So far we have 220 people signed up, and we’re hoping there’ll be more. We’ve got flyers up all over the city. But anyway —“

He pulled a small brown paper from his pocket, and held it out to Ben. “Each student is allowed to invite one guest to come, free of charge. This is the ticket for it. I don’t know if you’ll be off that night, but if you are —“

Ben took the paper with a smile. “I THINK I work that night, but I bet I can find someone to trade shifts with.”

And here he was, looking around himself with awe. To say it was packed in here was an understatement. And the smells ... Ben’s mouth was practically flooding with anticipation.

He had hoped Hux could walk around WITH him, but Hux had a table he needed to stay by, to dish up his “speciality” (which turned out to be a succulent-looking beef brisket over chive and rosemary potatoes). He told Ben to enjoy himself and “Eat a lot before everything’s picked over!”

So Ben did as told, stopping by table after table and sampling what there was to offer. Stews, stroganoffs, chicken lasagna, shrimp scampi, smoked turkey, pastas, rice and beans, cakes — it seemed the delights would never end.

Every so often, though, he’d stand close to where Hux’s table was, watching him talk to the people who came for his food.

Seeing Hux interact with other people was interesting. He was calm, he was confident. Nothing at all like the nervous, almost jumpy way that he acted with Ben.

Which Ben still couldn’t figure out.

Was there something about him that was scary? Off-putting? Intimidating? Hux had never been shy about approaching him before, while Ben had been the one to hold back; but now that they hung out so frequently, it was like the dynamic had suddenly changed. 

Ben thought about it as he went around to different tables, sampling the various dishes.

_Maybe, spending so much time with me, he’s finally realized that I AM boring as shit,_ , he thought, as he munched on an eclair. _Maybe he only keeps hanging out with me, maybe he only invited me to this, because he feels sorry for me, because he sees how weird and lonely I am. Maybe —_

“Hey!”

Ben turned around; Hux was behind him, a small plastic plate in his hand. “My stuff is gone already. Can you believe it?! Here; I wanted to be sure I saved you some of mine before it went completely,” he said, handing the plate to Ben.

Ben thanked him, saying, “I’m glad; I would have been mad as hell if I’d missed the goods from the best chef.”

Hux quickly nodded, then backed away. “I, um, I — I volunteered to help with cleanup, so ...”

“Oh, sure, go ahead. I’m gonna circle around to make sure I didn’t miss anything, then I guess I’ll head out. Um, you know I’ll be awake all night, like always. If — if you wanted to come over when you’re done here, maybe watch a movie or something, then —“

But Hux shook his head. “Thanks, but no. I mean I have a 7am class tomorrow, so I’ll probably need to get to sleep early.”

“Oh yeah, of course. Well I guess I’ll catch you later then.”

Hux smiled, nodded, and then he was gone again.

Ben sighed, and looked down at the plate Hux had given him. 

“I think I’ll just take this home with me,” he said to himself, before heading out.

— —

“Ben?”

Ben looked up, surprised. It was about a week after the food expo, early afternoon, just after lunch, and he was sitting on his couch reading a book. The day was sunny and warm, and he had his front door halfway open to get some fresh air in the place. He was a bit startled to find Hux in the doorway, looking at him.

“Oh, hey, Hux,” he said, closing his book. “What’s up?”

Hux came in and sat down beside him.

“I was just bringing you the business card and the menu from that deli my friend opened,” he explained, pulling the items from his pocket and setting them on the table. “You said you had a co-worker who might want something catered from there? Anyway I figured you’d be asleep so I was just gonna slide them under your door. Didn’t expect you to be up, though. Don’t you work tonight?”

“I do, but I had to force myself to stay awake today.”

“How come?”

“Um, today’s my mom’s birthday. I went to her grave and put out some flowers for her.”

“Aw, really? That’s a sweet thing to do.”

Ben shrugged, embarrassed. “Yeah, well ... it’s the least I can do.”

There was a beat of silence, and then Hux was saying, softly, “You must miss her a lot.”

“I do. And I hate to say it but I ... I guess I’m still not over her being gone. I was sure I would be by now; it’s been over half a year.”

“Ben ... you know that’s completely normal, right? To still feel that way? “

“I know. It’s just, it was hard, Hux. She was sick for so long and ... I don’t really have any enemies but it’s an experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. And in some ways I think it might have been easier, if she had gone quicker. Instead it was weeks and months of slow deterioration. And then there’d be days when she’d be energetic and up and moving, almost like her old self, and I’d think, maybe she WILL recover. Maybe the doctors were wrong and I’ve been worried for nothing. She died a few days after Thanksgiving, and I wasn’t expecting it at all, because ON Thanksgiving she was up and moving and she made us the entire dinner herself. Turkey, potatoes, homemade stuffing, everything. She even invited some of our neighbors and she hadn’t done that in a long time; she didn’t like people to see her looking like she did. But that day she was different. And I kept asking if she needed help and she kept saying no, she was fine, and she DID look fine. Happy, even. Then two days later I go into her room to wake her up, for her pills, and —“

Here he shook his head, and cut himself off. He knew that if he got into the next part he would completely lose it, and Hux didn’t need to see that. He wasn’t even sure why he had said all of that to him in the first place.

There was a pause, and then Hux was speaking, softly,

“I still miss my mom a lot, too. She wasn’t like your mom. I mean, she went quick. Car crash, head-on collision. Truck driver ran a red light and smashed right into her. She was dead before the ambulance even got there.”

“Jesus Christ ... that’s awful!”

Hux shrugged. “Yeah. It was. You know, her funeral was the only time in my whole life that I ever saw my dad _cry_. But I didn’t cry; I was only 10, I think I was in shock.”

“You were that young??”

“Yep. And I STILL miss her,” Hux said, softly. “She wasn’t anything like how my dad was. Mom was funny, mom liked the arts and she was creative and she loved animals and —“

Here he paused, and Ben could see the emotion play over his face as he struggled to compose himself. Ben reached over and cautiously pat his back, trying to offer some small amount of comfort.

“But anyway,” Hux said, with a sigh, “That’s why I’m going to name my future restaurant Sarah’s one day. I have a whole notebook full of her recipes; I’m gonna try and have as many as I can on the menu.”

“No shit, really?”, Ben asked, surprised. “My mom had a notebook of recipes, too! In fact, do you remember that tomato-basil soup I made you when you first came over? I got that out of my mom’s notebook.”

“You did? That soup was tasty as hell. I’ll have to include it on my menu, too. Stuff like my mom cooked or your mom cooked, it’s what people like, I think. Food that’s simple, tasty, doesn’t cost an arm and a leg, and reminds people of home. Home, and better times.”

Ben lifted up his can of Coke and tipped it towards Hux. “To better times,“ he said, before taking a sip. “You want something to drink? Or eat? I think I’ve still got half a pizza in the fridge.”

Hux shook his head and stood up, saying, “I think I should go, let you get some rest. You should probably at least try and take a nap before you have to work.”

Ben nodded, although, truthfully, he could have done without sleep if it meant Hux would stay with him longer. His voice was more soothing than any slumber. But he couldn’t possibly SAY such a thing. So instead he just walked Hux to the door.

When they reached it, Ben put his hand on Hux’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. 

“Thank you for stopping over. I always feel a little down when I come back from the cemetery. Now I feel a lot better.”

“Why? All I did was sit here.”

“That’s enough. So thanks.”

Hux blushed and nodded. “Anytime,” he said, and then he was gone, walking quickly down the hall.

Ben watched him go, unaware of the sigh that escaped his lips.

He shut the door slowly behind him, suddenly feeling exhausted.

Maybe a nap WOULD be in his best interests.

—

Hux didn’t come over again until about two weeks later, and Ben was a bit worried. He’d been off a few times before this, and had invited Hux to watch games or movies with him, only to be declined every time. And today, Hux had sounded extremely hesitant on the phone, when Ben asked him if he wanted to play the new NFL game he’d bought two days ago.

Hux had shown up with a big Tupperware container of freshly-made pesto pasta, and Ben was busily scarfing it down.

“This is delicious,” Ben said, as he slurped down the tasty noodles. “But you know ... you don’t always have to bring me food when you come see me. All you have to bring is YOU; I enjoy hanging out with you.”

Hux nodded. He seemed more fidgety than usual tonight. Several times he’d pick up his wine glass, bring it to his lips, then quickly set it back down again without taking a drink.

Trying to set him more at ease, Ben told him a funny story about something that had happened at work last night, but it seemed Hux was barely listening. When Ben finished, Hux cleared his throat and said,

“Ben, there’s something I want to say to you. In fact I think I NEED to say this, before it drives me out of my mind.”

Ben nodded, bracing himself. This was what he’d been waiting for, had suspected all along: Hux didn’t think they should spend so much time together anymore. All those nights of making Ben food, of listening to Ben talk on and on about his favorite books and movies, or his mother, had gotten on Hux’s last nerve.

But Hux was a nice man, a polite man. He wouldn’t phrase his boredom with Ben in such a crude way. He’d make something up, something about having taken on more classes at school, or maybe another part-time job. Whatever the case, the end result would be the same; with them spending less and less time in each other’s company, until they were back to exchanging passing greetings in the hallways.

“Okay. What is it?”

“Okay, here’s the thing. It’s ... always been really hard for me, to express my feelings. I get that from years with my dad. But, the thing is ... you know me and you have been spending a lot of time together lately.”

“I know, we have.”

“And, I think maybe, there’s a problem with that.”

“A problem?”

Hux stood up and began pacing nervously. He also picked up his wine glass and gulped the whole thing down, before continuing,

“Yeah. It’s a problem. The ... the more time I spend with you, the more I’m around you, it gets more and more difficult.”

“Difficult?”, Ben asked, confused now. “What do you mean?”

“Yeah, difficult. Being near you is difficult. NOT being near you is difficult. Standing here and looking you in the eye while I’m talking to you, is difficult.”

“Hux ... what are you trying to say?”

Hux sat down beside him, and whether from the wine or his nerves, his face was all flushed.

“I tried to fix this by staying away, but then I realized it’s almost impossible for me to stay away. Painful, even. I’m saying ... I’m saying ... that I think I might have, um, feelings, for you. Not friendship feelings, but more. And right now, sitting here by you, looking at you, is the most difficult thing of all. Because I have no clue what YOU’RE thinking, what YOU’RE feeling ... and I look at your face and the urge to kiss you is so fucking overwhelming that —“

But Ben quickly stood up, and all but sprinted into the bathroom. Hux sat numbly on the couch, positive that he’d just made a serious mistake. He was about to get up and leave when Ben came out, and made a beeline back to him.

“Shit ... Ben please, I’m sorry, please just forget that I said all of that, because —“

Ben grabbed Hux’s face and planted a slow, gentle kiss on him. Hux’s shocked expression made his face look even lovelier than usual, making it _difficult_ for Ben to STOP kissing him.

When he finally managed to, he pulled back with a smile, and said, “Your lips are much softer than I imagined.”

“But ... but ... you ran to the bathroom ...”

“Well, of course I did. You just fed me all that pesto pasta, remember? I had to gargle; I didn’t want our first kiss tasting like garlic and onions.”

“So, do you ... does this mean that —“

Ben pulled him into another kiss. “Spending time with you has been the highlight of my whole year, Hux. I’m not good with expressing myself, either, but, I’ve been numb for a long time. You make me not-numb. You make me FEEL all kinds of —

Hux put both arms around Ben, and held him warmly. “Me, too.”

Ben gently eased himself out of Hux’s embrace, and said, timidly,

“Um, just so you know ... I haven’t been with anyone, like been someone’s boyfriend, since high school. And ... and I’ve always liked guys, but ... I’ve never had a boyfriend myself, so if I do something wrong, or make mistakes, you’ve gotta let me know right away, so I can fix it.”

“You want to be my boyfriend?”, Hux asked, in a soft, awe-filled tone.

“More than anything, actually.”

Hux hugged him again, his arms conveying the emotions that his mouth couldn’t. 

“Actually, you DID make a mistake, a few minutes ago.”

“Really? What??”

“I like long kisses. Those last two kisses weren’t nearly long enough.”

So Ben grinned and pulled him closer, to fix it.


	3. Chapter 3

“You all ready for your first day?”

“I don’t know, Hux. I haven’t been in school in over two years. What if I’m not smart enough anymore?”

“Not smart enough? Oh, come on, Ben; that’s ridiculous.”

“Is it? I’m an old man, after all.”

“You’re 24. You’re younger than ME. Why are you so dramatic?”

“I prefer ‘artistic’, actually.”

“Artistic?”, Hux repeated, letting out a laugh. “You’ve missed your calling; instead of going to school for all that computer stuff, you should be going to hone those comedy chops of yours.”

When Ben didn’t answer, Hux got up and went to him.

Things had changed drastically in Ben and Hux’s lives, since they had confessed their mutual feelings for each other. To begin with, they spent as much time as they possibly could with one another. Talking, reading, going for walks, Hux attempting to teach Ben how to cook ... every day was like a mini-adventure.

And since getting together with Hux, Ben had regained some of the self-confidence he had let falter since the strain of being his mother’s caretaker. He was more friendly at work, he was outgoing, and quick to make a joke.

He and Hux even introduced each other to their respective social circles, with Ben meeting several of the students Hux went to school with, and Hux going out for drinks several times with Ben and his co-workers (Ben himself didn’t drink, but he was always up for food and games).

Then, about a month back, Ben set something into motion that he had wanted to do forever; he registered for classes down at the community college.

Before his mother had gotten ill, he had been working towards an Associate’s’s degree in Computer Science. He had left with only about a year and a half’s worth of credits standing between him and graduating. He had managed to switch his days at work from 5 days a week to 3, still overnights, but 12-hour shifts instead of the standard 8. That way his paycheck would remain much the same, but less days meant he would be less tired, from working at night and going to classes during the day. So, with Hux’s encouragement, he was ready to get back in the academic saddle.

Somewhat.

“Tell you what;” Hux said now, wrapping his arms around Ben, “You make an effort to _enjoy_ your classes, and when you come home, I’ll come over and make you dinner.”

Ben kissed Hux’s nose. “You don’t need to do that, you know.”

“I WANT to. What’s the point in having a boyfriend who loves to eat if you can’t cook for him?”

“No, I mean, you don’t have to wait for me to come back, to be here.”

Hux frowned. “I really don’t like you leaving your door unlocked, Ben. In this day and age —“

Ben sighed and got up, going into the kitchen. He returned in a few moments with a small silver object, which he placed in Hux’s hand.

“What is this?”

“It’s my spare key,” Ben explained, blushing. “A few weeks after I moved in, I panicked because I thought I lost my key in the baler at work. The landlord gave me another one, and then I found my actual key in my pants’ pocket. But ... I want you to have this one.”

Hux sat quietly for a few moments, somewhat overwhelmed. Although he didn’t put it into words, his giving Hux a key to his apartment was saying that he had trust, in Hux. And that felt like a really big step in their relationship.

Instead of embarrassing Ben by saying how much the gesture meant, Hux simply took his own keys from his pocket and worked Ben’s key around the metal ring. 

“Remind me to get one of those pink heart-shaped key covers for this,” Hux said, smiling. “Otherwise it’ll be hard to distinguish this one from the keys from all my OTHER boyfriends.”

Ben chuckled and swatted him on the arm. “Very funny. Just for that I hope you’re prepared to make me DESSERT tonight, too. Something chocolate.”

“Always, my dear,” Hux said, kissing his cheek. “Now come on, get up and get moving, get in the shower. Can’t be late on your first day.”

Ben started to head to his bathroom, stopped, turned around, and smirked, saying, “Since you want to be all helpful and encouraging today, how about you come ‘help’ me in the shower?”

This was something else that was new and exciting to the two of them: their life in the bedroom. They had started off slowly at first, with both being timid and unsure, but once they got used to each other ... well, the benefits just seemed never-ending.

Hux grinned and shook his head. “If I did THAT, you’d miss class altogether. Now get a move on.”

—

“$395? For ONE book? Goddamn; I hope they at least bought you dinner before they screwed you that hard.”

“This is nothing. I looked up the books I’ll need for next semester’s classes; 3 books will run me almost a grand. And that’s not including the extra comp lab fees tacked on-top of the tuition.”

Hux whistled and shook his head. “So much money for what’s basically just sheets of paper stapled together. Seems crazy.”

“I know. I’m lucky that I qualified for some of those grants, otherwise I’d never be able to afford all this.”

Hux nodded in agreement, then picked up the magazine he had been reading (there was a recipe for pineapple salsa in it that he was thinking about trying), and Ben sat quietly for a few minutes, finishing up folding his laundry. It was after his first day of classes, and, seeing as he didn’t work tonight, he was sitting in his bedroom and talking with Hux (who was spending the night).

Ben was a little relieved, to be honest. He had carefully read over the syllabi’s for the semester, and was confident that he could handle the coursework. All it would take was some focus and determination, and before he knew it, he would have his degree.

But tonight, something else was on his mind; but he wasn’t sure how to approach Hux with it.

“So, speaking of crazy ... did you hear that the apartment up on the 4th floor is for rent?”

Hux looked up. “Which one?”

“The one bedroom corner unit. The one with the big floor plan.”

“Oh, is that the one the landlord just put the new stove into? Man I’d kill for a new oven like that.”

“What’s wrong with yours?”

“Nothing. But a new oven is like ... like a new car. The smell, the heat; it’s exciting.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it. Anyway, I heard the place has got a walk-in shower, too, AND a separate bathtub, instead of the shower-tub combo we both got.”

Sounds nice,” Hux said, picking his magazine back up again. “Must be expensive though, considering it’s more space and all.”

“Maybe. But ... it’s not so bad if you were sharing the rent with another person.”

“Mm,” Hux said absently, turning the page. “I suppose.”

Ben was quiet for awhile, and then, out of no where:

“Hux ... what if me and you moved in that place? Um, together?”

“What —?”

Gulping, and visibly nervous, Ben went on, “I was just thinking, we’ve been dating for a while now. We’re always at one or the other’s place anyway. And ... I went and spoke to the landlord yesterday, seeing if it would be possible for us to get out of our leases in order to rent that place together. He was very open to it.”

“Ben —“

“I know you don’t like some of the things I do. I know you think some of my habits are super annoying. But I swear I’d try my hardest to fix them. I’ll stop leaving my dirty clothes laying around, I won’t keep my hair sprays and shaving stuff all over the sink. I’ll take the garbage down to the dumpster BEFORE the day the garbage man comes. I’ll —“

“Ben —“

“And shit, I get it, it’s probably way too soon to ask you to do something like this. The thing is, Hux, I’d just really like to come home to you every night. To know that you’ll always be here. And for you to know that I’ll always, always be here for you. And —“

“Will you also work on how you talk over me? Because if you’d stop for a second, you’d hear my resounding YES.”

“R-really?”

Hux leaned over and put both arms around him, squeezing him warmly.

“Of course! Like I’m gonna pass up a new stove AND a walk-in shower!”

Ben chuckled and, picking up his pillow, lightly swatted Hux with it.

“You’re hilarious today, Hux. But hey, speaking of showers ... I’m still a little hurt that you didn’t want to join me in mine earlier.”

“Aw, you’re hurt? You want me to kiss you better?”

Ben laid down flat on his back and puckered his lips. “Yes, please.”

Hux leaned over him and gave him a disappointingly quick peck. “There. Better now?”

“Are you kidding me? ONE kiss for all my emotional pain and distress? That’s like sticking a bandaid over a —“

Hux leaned over again and gave him another teasing nip. “How’s that? Better now?”

“Oh my Godddd, you’re killing me here! What’s it’s gonna take to get a little —“

Quicker than quick, Hux climbed over him, and began seriously laying into him with his lips. By the time he let go, Ben was gasping ... and more than a little turned on. “Fuck ... more!”

“More kissing or more fucking?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, to what?”

“Both. Please?”

Hux smiled and leaned down, beginning to kiss along Ben’s neck.

“Since you said ‘please’ ... “

— —

“I can’t believe I never noticed how many you had before.”

Hux looked up from his polishing. “Is it too many, do you think? Do they bother you?”

“Not at all. They’re actually cute. But if you like them so much, why don’t we just get a real one?”

Hux shook his head, saying, wistfully, “I’d like to but I’m allergic. I’d never be able to stop sneezing.”

It was a late afternoon several weeks later, and, after a lot of packing and hauling and decorating, Ben and Hux were finally nearing the end of moving into their new apartment. They each only had a couple more unpacked boxes per person, and Hux was working on his now.

It was incredible, how much bigger the new place seemed, in comparison to either of their old places. And a lot of their furniture was new, as well. Ben had been able to find a fantastic bargain on a brand-new King-sized bed, Hux surprised him by having two of his co-workers using their flatbed to bring over an obscenely comfortable couch (that conveniently turned into a fold-out bed). As a ‘housewarming gift’, Ben had gifted Hux with a top of the line standing mixer, something that Hux didn’t have but talked about getting all the time. He wasted no time putting it into use, making a fantastically tasty German-chocolate cake with shaved coconut and pecan icing.

Right now, Hux was in the middle of finding places to set his extensive collection of tiny cat figurines, and Ben was half-doing his homework and half-watching Hux.

“I wish I had the patience to collect things like you do.”

“You collect comic books, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but none of them are really in good enough condition to be like, display-worthy.”

“Do you have any rare ones in your collection?”

Ben nodded. “I have a number 1 issue of the first Vaultman Hero comics. It’s different because it’s only one of two covers where the artist drew Vaultman with green eyes, instead of brown. It’d probably be worth a bunch if it wasn’t missing the back cover.”

“Sounds pretty cool regardless. Where’d you get it?”

“My dad,” Ben said, momentarily closing his eyes. “When I was 4, he went on a long trip. Actually mom said it was a business trip but I kinda always thought he had to serve some time in jail or something. But anyway I cried and begged to go with but he said I couldn’t come, but if I was good, he’d bring me back a present. I was good, and he came back after a long time. He had that comic, and some others. I couldn’t even read yet but I was still pretty excited. Didn’t find out till I was an adult that the comic was worth something. I don’t think my dad knew it either; he probably picked it up last-minute from a thrift store or something.”

Hux finished with his figurines and sat down next to Ben on the couch.

“I know you told me what happened with your dad,” Hux began, quietly. “But ... do you ever think about him? You ever miss him?”

Ben thought about it, pursing his lips.

“I think about him sometimes,” he answered, eventually. “But I don’t think I miss him. He was barely around as-is, and that was before he left. But you know what I do want?”

“What?”

“When mom was sick, like on the days she wasn’t coherent, she would sometimes mumble something about ‘Han’s other family’. She’d say that over and over. So that makes me wonder, did Han have another wife after my mom? And if he did ... maybe I have siblings that I’ve never met. If I do, I’d really like to meet them someday.”

“If you want, we can look into that, Ben. With DNA testing and that ancestry thing, maybe we could find out if —“

But Ben shook his head. “I — I don’t think I’m ready to know that, yet. Is that stupid?”

“It’s not stupid. But if/when you are ready, let me know, and we’ll do some digging together. Alright?”

“Okay,” Ben agreed, kissing Hux’s cheek. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

Hux stood back up and began unpacking one of his boxes of books, which he fit on the bookshelf next to Ben’s. “By the way, speaking of dads ... mine might be coming for a visit in a few weeks.”

“Really? That’s pretty cool.”

Hux nodded. “Yeah. Haven’t seen him since last year. I told him all about this new place, and ... and about you.”

“You did? Hey wait, your dad knows you’re gay, right?”

Hux nodded. “He knows. We’ve never really had an in-depth talk about it, though. I get the feeling that in his mind he considers my being gay to be a ‘phase’ or something.”

“Hey, just so you know, when he comes, I’d be okay with dipping out for a few days. Go to a motel or something.”

“What? Why in the world would you do that??”

“Um, didn’t you tell me your dad wasn’t really okay with your ‘lifestyle choices’? I don’t want to make it tense for you, if he comes over and sees you living with a guy.”

Hux put his books down, and once again sat by Ben. Speaking passionately, he said,

“Ben ... I would NEVER in my life ask you to ‘dip out’ somewhere. This is OUR home, and you’re not a guest here, you’re my boyfriend. And I could not be any prouder of having you, or happier _being_ with you, if I tried. Fuck a motel, you’re staying right here. If my dad has a problem with that, then HE can just ‘dip out’. Alright?”

Ben nodded, feeling a lump in his throat. He hadn’t expected such a strong reaction from Hux.

“Alright. Oh by the way, in case I haven’t mentioned it today ... I fucking love you.”

“That’s good,” Hux said, leaning over and kissing Ben’s cheek. “Because I fucking love you, too. A whole fucking lot. More every fucking day.”

“You’re saying the word ‘fucking’ a lot, Hux.”

“It’s a positive thinking strategy. If you say the thing you want most out-loud, then eventually, it becomes a reality.”

Ben took Hux’s hands and climbed over him, so that he was on top of him, pinning him down. “Interesting,” he said, slowly kissing down Hux’s neck. “I think I’ll try that, too; Hux, Hux, Hux, Hux, Hux, Hux ...”

Then Hux took over Ben’s lips, silencing his chant. No matter, though; they were both about to get what they wanted.

— —

“Would you sit down already? You’re making me dizzy!”

“I just wanted to clean this table.”

“You’ve been at that table six times now. Everything is spotless. _Relax_.”

Hux sighed and, after putting the cleaning spray in the kitchen, sat back down. He had spent half the day cleaning, and the other half cooking. The food was ready and waiting, being kept warm and simmering on a low heat, for his father’s arrival, which would be at any moment. It smelled delicious, and Ben kept attempting to sneak into the kitchen to sample a bite; but Hux would catch him every time and drag him back out, having him ‘clean’ something else.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so tense before, Hux. Your dad can’t possibly be all THAT bad, now, can he?”

Hux shook his head. “He’s not. But I just want him to see that I’m taking care of myself. The last time he came to visit me at my old apartment, it was kinda messy because I had been busy studying for my midterms and the whole time he was there he wouldn’t stop going on about how I needed a wife to keep my place decent-looking.”

Ben chuckled. “You want me to go out and buy a wig and a dress? So he can see you DO have a ‘wife’?”

“You in a dress, huh? Might be kinda hot, actually,” Hux said, pulling him in for a kiss. The two continued to sit there and enjoy each other’s bodies, until a slight vibration from Hux’s pocket made him tense up all over again.

“Dad’s cab just pulled up,” Hux read from his texts, sounding nervous. “I’m gonna go down and meet him, to walk him up.”

“Okay. It’ll be okay, babe, trust me. By the way you look really great today. If I’m not careful I just might fall in love.”

Hux gave Ben a real smile, and then he was out the door.

Ben had a split second of wanting to run into the kitchen to get that food, but ultimately decided against it. He didn’t need to have his mouth full when meeting Hux’s dad.

And his decision was a good one; Hux and his father got back much faster than Ben expected them to.

Hux Sr. looked almost nothing like his son. He was about the same height, but whereas his son was slender, the father was big (not fat, but stout). He had dark brown hair with flecks of white in it (not the red that Ben had been picturing), and a chin-length beard. Their eyes were about the only thing the two had in common, both being that deep, piercing blue.

“So ... this is the guy I was telling you about. This is Ben Solo,” Hux said, and Ben could practically SEE Hux’s heart jumping out of his chest as he added, “My boyfriend.”

“It’s so good to finally meet you, sir,” Ben said, offering his hand. “Hux, er, Armitage has told me a lot about you.”

Hux Sr. took Ben’s hand, and Ben winced a little; he had quite a strong grip, for a man his age.

“Likewise,” he said, and Ben couldn’t help but smile a bit, at his heavy Irish accent. Hux would often (unknowingly) slip into an accent too, when saying certain words, or when he got excited about something. Ben wished he’d do it more; on Hux, it sounded absolutely adorable.

“I wish we had a guest room to put you up in, but the pull-out bed in the couch is pretty comfy. Plus we have lots of extra blankets and pillows so —“

“Arah, this is nothing. When I was a boy, my brothers and I all slept on a wooden floor, with one blanket for the four of us. I never once laid in a bed until I was 20 years of age.”

Ben grinned again. Hux’s dad seemed like a pretty folksy guy, the kind who would have countless stories about ‘the old days’. Ben wanted to ask him questions, but was held back by the tenseness he could still feeling coming off of Hux.

“I hope you’re hungry; Hux has been working like a maniac all day, cooking.”

“Yeah, dad,” Hux said, finding his voice. “Do you remember that fish stew Aunt Lottie used to make? I found her recipe for it. And I made biscuits, roasted corn, potato —“

“Are you still doing this cooking thing, Armitage? The last time I was here you said you were considering schooling to become an architect. What happened to that?”

Hux’s shoulders tensed, and he replied, “I never said that. YOU suggested that, and I said I was happy with where I was.”

“Son, do you know why I named you Armitage? That was my grandfather’s name. A bear of a man, he was. A wonder with his hands. He could picture anything in his head, then go out the next day and _build_ it. YOU could —“

“Food’s getting cold,” Hux said, abruptly cutting his father off. “Let’s get in there and eat it, huh?”, and he turned on his heel, leaving Ben and Hux Sr. temporarily alone.

“The boy is so sensitive,” the older man muttered, shaking his head. “We should have named him Amy instead of Armitage.”

“Oh, believe me, he’s QUITE the man where it counts,” Ben said, with a smug smirk, before walking ahead of him and into the kitchen. He hadn’t meant to say that, but the man’s snide comments about his son had made him angry. He went to Hux and kissed him, saying “This all looks amazing, babe,” before sitting down opposite him at the table.

After a few awkward moments, Hux Sr. joined them.

—

“He hated it.”

It was a few hours later and, after having gotten Brendol Hux settled on the pull-out, Ben and Hux were in their room, getting ready for bed.

Ben had asked Hux why he was so quiet, only for the latter to say, softly, that he didn’t think his dad had liked what he made for dinner.

“I’m pretty sure he liked it, Hux. He had three bowls of stew, not to mention loads of the other stuff.”

“Doesn’t mean anything; he’s a big man and a big eater.”

“Well, **I** thought everything was magnificent. So there.”

Hux gave him a slight smile. “You’re not a very good gauge, though. Has there ever been anything I’ve made that you _didn’t_ like?”

“Yes, actually. I really didn’t like that pea soup you made that one time.”

Hux tilted his head, confused. “When did I ever make you pea soup?”

“You never made it for me, specifically. But you remember that day a few months ago, when I went to pick you up at your own place? I was sitting in the kitchen and I notice a bowl sitting on the counter. It was creamy and green, and I’d remembered you talking about getting fresh peas the day before, so I figured you made them into soup. I grabbed a spoon to sneak a bite, but oh my God ... Hux, I’m sorry but it tasted like ... like dirty socks!”

Hux gasped, and then he burst out laughing. He laughed so hard that his chest shook and his face turned a bright red.

“What’s so funny?!”

“Holy shit!”, Hux spluttered, still laughing. “That wasn’t soup; that was the bowl I’d been using to soak my vegetable peelers! There must have been days’ worth of dirty old peels floating around in there! Not to mention the Jergens!”

Now Ben started to laugh too. “Thank God! I thought you’d lost your mind, making something like that!”

They continued to laugh for a long while, until at last they managed to calm down.

“That’s probably why I love you so much,” Hux said, wiping tears from his eyes. “You always know how to cheer me up.”

“You’re pretty good at that yourself, you know. I don’t know if you realize it, but when you first met me, I was really a wreck, inside. But you were so friendly, and you made me feel like ... like I _mattered_. Like I wasn’t alone. That means more to me than you’ll ever realize, Hux.”

“You attribute so much worth to really simple things,” Hux said, blushing. “All I did was say Hi to you, and sit on your couch drinking your wine and watching movies.”

“Not true at all. Even before we started dating you’d always be around, like when I came back from work, or checked my mail. Always with that smile and a wave.”

Hux blushed, and then confessed, in a low voice, 

“Used to be a pain in the butt, to set my alarm for that.”

“Wait ... what?!”

“I, um, I started to notice that on the days you worked, you’d come home or leave at exactly the same times. Same with getting your mail. So when I was home, I used to set the alarm on my phone for a few minutes before those times, so I could be in the hallway and look like I was doing something before you’d come out, so I could wave at you, or talk to you.”

“I KNEW it!”, Ben exclaimed, slapping his knee for emphasis. “I KNEW that shit wasn’t just a coincidence!”

Hux blushed even harder, pulling the blanket over his head to hide it. “Stop it,” he mumbled from beneath the covers. “You’re making me feel like a weirdo.”

“You’re not a weirdo. Hey do you want to know something though?”

“What?”

“About two weeks before you told me how you felt. It was daytime, and I should have been asleep, but I couldn’t sleep. I ... I wanted you to come over. So I got out of bed, I got dressed, I went all the way to your door. I stood there for twenty minutes, literally just standing there like an idiot, trying to make myself knock. But I couldn’t do it; I had no idea what I’d even say to you, when you answered. And then I thought I heard you coming, and I SPRINTED down the hall so fast I twisted my damn ankle. Remember you saw me two days later and you asked why I was limping? And I told you I dropped a box on my foot at work? Yeah, that wasn’t why.”

Hux slowly emerged from beneath the covers, his expression one of pure disbelief.

“Seriously?”

Ben nodded. “Seriously. And back then I wasn’t even aware of what it was I felt for you. All I knew was that my chest ached and I felt fucking miserable when you weren’t around. So, you know, if you’re a weirdo, I guess I’m one, too.”

Out of no where, quite unexpectedly, Hux burst into tears. He pulled the blanket back up to hide his face, and to muffle the sobs.

“Hux! What’s wrong??”

“It’s not fair!”

Ben had his arms around him now, trying to soothe him. “What’s not fair?”

“This! That story! That’s the kind of thing I’d kill to tell my mom, and I fucking can’t! And you can’t tell your mom, either! All I have is my father and he doesn’t want to hear anything about this! It’s NOT FAIR!”

They two sat quietly for a long time, with Hux trying to stop crying, and Ben holding him and patting his back. Eventually, Hux calmed down enough for Ben to be heard, and what he said was,

“I know it’s not fair. It’s cruel and it’s not right and it’s not fucking fair. But ... just because your mom isn’t around doesn’t mean you can’t talk to her, Hux. I talk to mine literally every day. I’ve told her so many things about you, and our life together. And to be really honest, I don’t know if I believe in there being a heaven, or any kind of life after this one. But IF there is, I know my mom is listening, and hearing me, and is happy for me. And I’m sure that yours is, too. And as for your dad ... again, it’s not right, and it’s not fair. But you have to have faith that he loves you, and one day, he could come around to all of this. And if he doesn’t, it’s okay, because no matter what me and you have each other, we love each other, and that’s what really matters. Okay?”

Hux let out a long, shuddery sigh, and put his face against Ben’s chest. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry for losing it like that.”

“Don’t apologize,” Ben said, stroking Hux’s hair. “You keep too much stuff inside, babe, and that’s not healthy. Let things out more. TELL me things more.”

Hux nodded. “I will.”

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?”, Ben asked him, hugging him tighter. “You’re beautiful, you’re smart, you’re funny, you can cook ... you know it’s almost not fair, here. God put so much effort into you, he didn’t really leave anything for the rest of us.”

“If nothing else, Ben Solo, nobody on this earth could possibly be as sweet as you are ... or as goofy. I didn’t stand a chance; I was in love since practically the first time I ever saw you, standing at the mailboxes struggling for _fifteen minutes_ to get your key in the slot.”

Ben laughed at that. “Hey, that key had it in for me! But okay, I guess it would have helped if I hadn’t been holding it upside down, huh?”

“Maybe. And you know, I would have gone to help you sooner, but, from where I was standing ... I had a GREAT view of your, er, ‘best asset’.”

They both laughed again at that, shaking with mirth as they held onto each other.

“Do you remember that very first night I made you dinner?”

“Yes?”

“Do you know why I gave you each thing one at a time, instead of all at once?”

“Why?”

“So that I could keep you sitting at my table as long as humanly possible. And you know what? Even now, even living together, and sleeping in the same bed, and seeing each other every single day ... I still feel like no amount of time with you is quite enough.”

“Baby,” Ben murmured softly, burying his face in Hux’s soft hair. He started to kiss him, and once he started, he felt like he couldn’t stop.

“I’m feeling kinda tired,” Hux mumbled when Ben finally managed to pull himself back, using his sleeve to wipe away his last tears.

So Ben got up and switched off the lamps, then laid back down and pulled Hux gently into his arms, cuddling him.

“Sleep,” he told him soothingly. “And you know what? Things will be better in the morning, trust me.”

So Hux closed his eyes and did as he was told.

—

The next morning DID seem a bit brighter. Ben’s class didn’t start until 11am, so he got up early and made breakfast for everybody. His cooking, while not at nearly the caliber of Hux’s, had improved significantly nonetheless. Breakfast just so happened to be his “specialty”.

And even Hux couldn’t deny that Ben’s ‘egg McMuffins’ (which were toasted English muffins dipped and fried in seasoned egg batter) were delicious. Those, along with bacon, fried potatoes, and jambalaya rice mixed with tomatoes, green onions, and corn (which was admittedly a bit unusual for _breakfast_ , but Ben had always loved it and had gotten Hux into eating it too) proved to be a satisfying morning meal. 

Afterwards, Ben got ready for class. He felt a bit apprehensive, at the thought of leaving Hux and his father alone all day; but then again, things would probably be fine. Hux told him that he planned to take his dad to a double-feature at the movie theater today, so that would at least occupy a few hours of their time.

“Where dad lives, they don’t get the stuff we get here until like 4-5 months after the fact,” Hux explained to him, when he asked. “I know he’s been dying to see Blood Game, and the other movie sounds like it’ll be right up his alley, too.”

“That’s good, Hux. I’m sure you guys will have a lot of fun.”

“What time will you be home today?”

“Probably around 5:30, 6 at the latest.”

When it was time to leave, Ben pulled on his backpack and went to Hux, cupping his face and kissing him. “Love you. Have a good day.”

“Have fun at school!”

Ben looked around Hux to where Brendol was sitting on the couch. “Have a good day today, Mr. Hux.”

“You’re in school, too?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What are you studying?”

“Computer technology.”

“Hm. Very smart. You make good money with a career like that.”

The way he said it, and the way he looked at Hux when he said it, made Ben’s face do a little twitch. But he ignored it and kissed Hux again, before heading out the door.

Hours later, coming in the door, Ben was surprised to see father and son sitting side by side on the couch, both looking relatively happy, for once.

Ben sat down at Hux’s side, smiling because Hux was smiling. “What are you guys watching?”

“Dad brought some tapes from when I was young,” Hux explained. 

On screen there was a small child running through a green park. The child couldn’t have been more than 2 or 3, and he was stark-naked.

“Holy shit!,” Ben said, laughing. “Is that YOU?!”

Hux blushed and nodded. “Yeah that’s me.”

“Where the hell are your clothes?”

“He was always like that when he was a wee lad,” Brendol spoke up from the other side. “My Sarah and I couldn’t get him to keep his clothes on for anything. Not even in public.”

“I never would have taken you for the exhibitionist type, Hux.”

“Ah, well; the bright side is that he learned to use the toilet before the other kids his age.”; to which all three men laughed.

The video on screen switched; now it looked like a birthday party, with a lot of little kids gathered around a big table, and a woman was coming through a little doorway holding a cake.

“Is that your mom?”

“Yeah. That’s mom.”

“She’s really beautiful,” Ben said, softly. “No offense, Mr. Hux, but it’s obvious where Armitage got his good looks from.”

Brendol just nodded, and said, “My Sarah was the prettiest woman in the county Kerry. And she had a brain in her head, too. She could match wits with anybody, man or woman. She —“

Hux suddenly excused himself and went into the bathroom, shutting the door quickly behind him.

Ben waited for Brendol to make a comment about his son’s “over-sensitivity” again, but none came. Instead what he said was, “It’s hard on a boy, losing his mother. Armitage was only ten when she passed.”

“I know, he told me.”

“In many ways, Ben, a boy’s mother is like his first sweetheart. A woman who takes care of him, feeds him, washes his clothes. A woman who loves and nurtures him, molding him into a man. A role model for his future wife. I can’t help but think that if Armitage hadn’t lost his mother so early, he wouldn’t be living like this.”

“You mean living with me?”

“Yes. You’re a good lad, Ben, but this isn’t what I pictured for him. I always saw him marrying a pretty young lady, having a home, giving me and his mother lots of grandchildren.”

Ben was quiet for awhile, trying to find the right words to say. 

“I guess I’m no pretty young lady. And I could never have Hux’s children. But ... I love your son. I love him more with each passing day. We take care of each other. We listen to and respect each other. We offer each other support and encouragement. Sometimes, when I come home from work or school, and I see him sitting here, I want to cry; because i can’t figure out what I did, to deserve such a ... a _blessing_. I don’t know about Hux, but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, and it’s due entirely to your son. And I work my hardest to make sure he’s happy, too. Isn’t that what a relationship should be about? Not who has what parts, but whether or not you make each other happy?”

There was a long pause, and then, miraculously, Brendol reached over and patted Ben’s shoulder. 

“You may not look like my wife, but you’re certainly intelligent like she was. Maybe Armitage knows what he’s doing after all.”

Ben smiled at that, and then said, jokingly, “Does this mean I can call you ‘dad’, now?”, to which both men broke into laughter.

Hux came out of the bathroom, confused at the scene before him. “What’s so funny?”, he asked, gingerly sitting back down.

Ben took Hux’s hand and squeezed it, saying, “Your dad, he tells funny jokes.”

“Your boyfriend tells better ones,” Brendol supplied, to which the two started laughing all over again. 

Hux wasn’t exactly sure WHAT was going on ...

... but the relief was evident on his face, that these two seemed to finally be getting along.

— 

The time came, eventually, for Brendol’s return to Ireland.

Ben had gone downstairs with Brendol’s suitcase, to put it in the cab, leaving Hux and his dad alone.

“I hope you can come visit again soon. Maybe Thanksgiving? There’s this Cajun-smoked turkey recipe I’m dying to give a try.”

Brendol nodded. “I’ll try my best, son.”

The two embraced each other, and then Brendol walked out into the hallway, to leave. A few steps from the door, however, he turned back around and addressed his son again.

“And ... your Ben is a good man,” Brendol said, somewhat gruffly. “Make sure you’re taking care of him, okay?”

Hux was so surprised at that, that for a few moments he wasn’t sure what to say. Eventually he recovered, and nodded. “I will, dad. Make sure YOU’RE taking care of YOU.”

Brendol nodded, smiled, and then he was heading down the stairs. Towards the end of the first stairwell he ran into Ben, and he stopped, holding out his hand.

“Keep taking care of my boy, alright?”

Ben shook his hand and nodded. “I definitely will. Have a safe trip.”

When Ben got back to the apartment, he found Hux staring somewhat forlornly out the window.

“You okay?”

Hux nodded. “Yeah. It’s just ... dad can be a pain in the ass but every time he goes, I feel a little sad. Is that stupid?”

“No. It’s not. He’s your dad and like I keep saying, the man loves you. And you love him, too.”

Hux nodded again and turned away from the window. “It looks like a beautiful day out. Do you have time to take a walk before your class?”

“I MIGHT, if we can stop by that corner store and get ice cream on the way back.”

“Deal,” Hux said, taking Ben’s hand and pulling him out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

“Are you okay?”

Hux nodded, grabbing another tissue from the box. After blowing his nose, he said, “I’m fine. It’s just allergies.”

“Allergies? Is there a cat around here somewhere? Because I’m pretty sure that that’s your only allergy, Hux.”

Hux just sighed and blew his nose again. It was about three weeks after his father’s visit, and for the past few days, Hux had just not been feeling up to par. He ignored it for as long as he could, continuing to go to school and job (Hux worked in his school’s admissions and finance office. It was convenient because oftentimes his hours were either before or after classes, so he didn’t have to travel anywhere extra; but tedious because he felt like he practically lived in the C.A. building).

But after awhile, the sneezing, coughing, and persistent irritation of his throat and chest prompted Hux to call into both school and work for a few days, to rest and hopefully get better.

Ben was, of course, worried about him. Although Hux kept insisting that he was okay, Ben would hardly let him lift a finger around the apartment, demanding that he stay in bed and let Ben bring him whatever he needed. He didn’t even like to leave him alone, as evidenced by his extreme reluctance to go to his own job or classes each day.

“I have to leave for class now,” Ben said, sounding anxious. “But you’re positive you’ll be okay here? I can just skip.”

“No, no; GO. I’m okay. I’ll just be sleeping all day anyway.”

“Well, okay,” Ben said, reluctantly. He was about to lean over and kiss Hux when Hux held up his hand and said, “Don’t; I don’t want you getting sick too. Just blow me one.”

“Just blow you? I mean sure, but is that really a good idea, in your condition?”

“A _kiss_. Blow me, a _kiss_ , you pervert.”

Ben grinned. “You suck all the fun right out of everything, you know that? Hey but speaking of sucking, if you feel any better when I get back, I’d be happy to —“

“Get out of here already! Geez!”

So Ben blew him an exaggeratedly big kiss, then was out the door. Hux listened until he heard the front door shut and latch behind him, then he forced back the covers and groaned. He felt like he was on fire, and knew that this likely meant he had a bad fever (which was the primary reason he hadn’t wanted Ben to touch him; if he knew how Hux really was, he’d have stayed home for sure. In Hux’s mind, there was no excuse for HIS illness to fuck up Ben’s day).

“You’re okay, Armitage,” he said to himself, reaching for his water bottle. “Just keep drinking a lot of fluids and resting, and you’ll be fine.”

But even drinking was difficult; the water felt like knives going down his throat.

Hux spent the morning reading and dozing, but despite taking it easy, by the time Ben came home (Ben only had one class on Wednesday’s, and was back home by 1pm), Hux felt even worse than he had when he’d first woken up. His chest was really bothering him; it was like no matter how hard he blew his nose or cleared his throat, his congestion didn’t ease up at all.

But he couldn’t let Ben know all that.

So he was cheerful when he came home, making jokes and asking Ben distracting questions about his class.

But even just laying there and talking felt exhausting to Hux. As bad as he was, he knew that no matter what, he didn’t want to risk Ben getting sick too. So he asked him, quite timidly, if he minded sleeping on the pull-out couch so that Hux could have the bed to ‘stretch out in’, as he put it. And Ben needed to go to sleep soon; he had work that night.

Hux felt like shit, asking that, but to Ben’s credit he didn’t seem upset or offended by the request at all.

What he DID seem, was extremely worried.

“Do you want me to make you some soup?”, he asked while standing in the doorway, anxiously. “You haven’t eaten much these past few days. I’m pretty sure my mom’s notebook had a recipe for chicken soup in there —“

“Ben,” Hux said, secretly struggling to talk without coughing, “You don’t have to go through all that effort for me.”

“You go through effort to make ME food every day. I can’t make you a little soup?”

Hux sighed, and said, “But you work tonight ... you should be sleeping. You don’t need to waste your time on this.”

Ben came a bit further into the room, the expression on his face one of disbelief.

“‘Waste my time?’”, he repeated, in a flat tone. “Do you still not realize how much I ... well, no, I guess you don’t. Because if you did there was no way you’d ever say that to me.”

“Don’t get mad,” Hux said, softly. “I just ... you DO need your rest. You’re doing a lot with work and school, and now taking care of me. You can’t be up half the day cooking when you need to be taking it easy.”

“Well if you don’t want me cooking, at least let me go and get you some Campbell’s or something, okay? Please? The good kind, with the chunky noodles. Maybe some saltine crackers too? You HAVE to get something in your system besides water.”

Hux nodded, knowing that Ben would just keep at him until he agreed. But he also knew that the soup thing was pointless; with his throat, there was no way he’d be able to swallow something as thick as broth and noodles. And crackers? Impossible.

Hux closed his eyes and fell back to sleep, not waking up until Ben was in front of him, setting up the TV tray with the food. He’d been sleeping so much lately; time just seemed to be blurring together.

After Ben was finished, Hux said,

“I have my soup, I have my water, I have my medicine and my Kleenex; now will you please go out there and lay down? You only have a few hours to nap before you go do a 12 hour shift, here, Ben.”

“Alright,” Ben said, reluctantly. “But ... I want you to promise you’ll call me if you need anything else. I’ll have my phone right by me, volume all the way up, so I’ll hear it. I don’t want you getting out of bed for anything unless it’s to use the bathroom. Promise?”

“Promise. Have a good nap, baby. Hux loves you.”

“Ben loves YOU,” Ben replied, with a soft smile. He left, leaving the bedroom door open a crack. Hux listened to the sounds of him settling in, and eventually the breathing of his slumber. Hux struggled to eat his soup, but in the end, could only manage about half. Moving as quietly as he could, he took the bowl with him into the bathroom and, after crushing up the crackers into the liquid, flushed it, so that Ben wouldn’t worry about his inability to eat.

He opened the bedroom door just a bit wider before he laid back down, in order to continue hearing Ben’s breathing. Eventually the soft sounds lolled him to sleep.

When Hux woke up, he was confused. Sunlight was streaming into his face, and, sitting up and looking through the door, Ben was nowhere to be seen.

Hux looked at his watch; 6:20am.

Good Lord.

Not only had he slept through Ben leaving for work, but he’d slept through the entire night. Ben didn’t get off for another hour yet, and then he would come home, change his clothes, and go to his morning class.

Hux sighed and closed his eyes. Somehow, while his eyes were closed, he managed to fall asleep _yet again_ , and only woke back up when he heard the sound of Ben shutting the front door.

“Good morning, Hux!”, Ben said, cheerfully, as he came to the doorway. In spite of his bright demeanor, Hux was sad to see that he looked really, really tired. Clearly those few hours yesterday hadn’t been enough sleep for him.

_All because he was up worrying over ME._

“Hey Ben, why don’t you skip class today and stay home? Rest a little? You’ve got an A in that class, there’s no reason you can’t miss a day now and then.”

But Ben shrugged it off. “I’m fine, Hux. Do you feel hungry? I can make you some breakfast before I get ready.”

Hux shook his head. “I’m okay.”

Ben started to clean up around the room a little, and Hux protested, saying, “I told you you shouldn’t spend so much time in here! You’ll catch this, too!”

“Hux, stop with the bullshit, okay? If I was gonna get sick I’d BE sick by now.”

“Not necessarily.”

“You’re the worst patient ever. I think maybe on my way home today I’m gonna stop and buy one of those sexy nurse costumes. Maybe if I show some skin you’d be a little more cooperative.”

As Ben was straightening up around Hux, he moved to fluff up the pillow behind Hux’s head, and before Hux could dodge him, Ben’s forearm accidentally came into contact with the side of Hux’s face.

“Holy —“, Ben gasped, startled. He quickly put his other hand on Hux’s forehead, then against his cheek; it was the same. “You’re _really_ burning up!”

Hux scowled and pulled the blanket back up to his neck. In spite of his hot temperature, he was visibly shivering. “Ben, I’m FINE. It’s just a little cold, nothing to freak out about.”

“First it was ‘just allergies’, now it’s ‘just a cold’. Look, I want you to try to sit up for me, okay? I’m gonna get you dressed.”

“Huh? Why??”

“I’m taking you to that walk-in clinic on Broad street. Come on, sit up,” Ben explained, while rustling through the dresser for something easy to put on Hux.

“Bennnnn,” Hux groaned, pulling the covers over his head. “You’re making too big a deal out of this. I told you, I’m —“

“Stop saying that you’re fine, because you’re clearly not. You’re burning up, your face is all red, and your voice sounds like you’ve been gargling razor blades. I’ve let this go on long enough. Sit up!”

Slowly, sullenly, Hux did as Ben asked. Ben got to work dressing him, then helping him out of bed and to the living room couch.

“Where do you keep your medical insurance card?”

“Ben ... we really don’t —“

“Where the fuck is it?!”

Hux drew back a bit, started. This was the first time ever that Ben had spoken to him in such a tone of voice, and the first time he looked truly _angry_ with him. Seeing his tense face took the rest of the fight out of Hux, and he answered, quietly, “Middle drawer in my nightstand, the bright blue folder.”

Ben went to get it, and Hux leaned back and closed his eyes, sighing. To Hux, the only thing worse than being sick and needing help was ADMITTING that he was sick and needed help. When he was younger, he had what his father referred to as a ‘weak chest’, and caught colds fairly frequently. Each time he did, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had in some way disappointed his dad. So he’d learned to keep things to himself, and as an adult, he had a tendency to let little ailments build and build until they became big potential problems.

He opened his eyes when Ben came back with the card, and was relieved to see that all of the former anger had fallen away.

“Okay,” Ben said, helping him to stand. “I’ve got your medical card, I’ve got your license, I’ve got my keys; I think we’re good to go. Here, lean on me, and take it slow.”

— 

The trip to the walk-in clinic very quickly turned into a trip to the ER, at the staff’s insistence. Hux’s vitals were horrible and he was so weak he could barely sit up straight on the table.

Hux thought for sure that Ben would crash the car on the way to the emergency room, he was so upset. But he got them there in one piece, and after what seemed like hours of poking, prodding, blood and urine tests ...

“Pneumonia,” Ben said, soberly. “I knew it wasn’t just a cold.”

Hux shook his head miserably. He was in a room now, with his right arm hooked up to an IV (it had turned out he was, amongst other things, dangerously dehydrated, so they were putting a bag of fluid into him) and a tube down his nose to help get air into his lungs.

“I guess you were right,” Hux admitted, wincing. The tube made it uncomfortable to talk.

They were quiet for a few moments, before Ben cleared his throat and said, quietly,

“I’m ... I’m really sorry, by the way.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“For snapping at you earlier. I really didn’t mean to; it just slipped out.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I was being stubborn, you had a right to be annoyed with me.”

“It’s not that. It’s ... seeing you look so sick brought up a lot of stuff from ... from when I was taking care of my mom. Um, before she was officially diagnosed, she was kinda like how you were. Weak, sleeping a lot. And like you, she kept saying that she was ‘fine’. And I always thought that if I had forced her to go to the doctor _sooner_ , they could have caught it sooner, and maybe ... maybe she wouldn’t have —“

“Oh, Ben,” Hux murmured, holding out his arms for him. Ben went into them, being careful so as not to displace his IV. 

“You don’t have to worry about me, alright? You heard what the doctor said, and I’ll give you all the paperwork so you can read it over and see for yourself. But what I have is a relatively simple issue to fix. And you got me in here before it turned serious, so I’m going to be just fine. We’re _both_ going to be just fine. Okay?”

Ben nodded. He pulled out of Hux’s arms and sat back in the chair, calmer now.

“Does that hurt?”, he asked, pointing to the IV.

“No. It’s kinda cold though. You can feel the saline or whatever going into you and it’s cold.”

“What about the one in your nose?”

“It’s irritating, but I guess it’s working; my breathing is a little better. Easier.”

“And after the fluids, they’re going to give you the antibiotics, right?”

“Yeah.”

“How come they can’t just give you some pills?”

“The doctor said I’ll have to take multiple rounds of antibiotics; they’re just administering the first round intravenously to make sure it gets started in my system, that’s all. After this they probably will prescribe me pills.”

“You’re braver than me, Hux,” Ben commented, shaking his head. “I couldn’t have all that put into me like that; I hate needles.”

“Really? I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah. Mom used to say she was terrified back when I was a kid and had to go get my annual shots. She’d almost have to blindfold me just to get me in the car.”

Hux started to laugh (albeit gently) at that; he could picture Ben as a wily child all too well.

At that moment, a passing nurse stuck her head in the door and said to Ben, “Sir, hospital visiting hours are almost over.”, before continuing down the hall.

“Wait ... you’re not coming home after this??”

Hux shook his head. “Well, no. They’re keeping me overnight for observation. Didn’t I say that?”

“No you didn’t! You mean I have to go home without you??”

“Baby, please don’t worry. I’ll be fine, I swear. Look, I even have a gourmet dinner here,” he said, pointing to the IV, trying to make Ben smile.

But it didn’t work. Instead, Ben practically wailed, “I KNOW you’ll be fine; but what about me?!”

“You’ll be fine, too. It’s only overnight, sweetheart.”

“You say ‘only’ like it’s no big deal,” Ben huffed, pouting. “What am I supposed to do in all that time?”

“You mean BESIDES going to bed like a normal person? I’m pretty sure you’ve got a whole stack of homework that you’ve been putting off.

“I didn’t put it off, I put it _on hold_ ,” Ben corrected him, loftily. “I was busy taking care of you, after all.”

“Well, there’s nothing to distract you now, so go home and get to it.”

“Alright,” Ben said, getting to his feet. As he pulled on his jacket he asked, with a smirk, “Am I allowed to kiss you goodbye now, or do you want me to just blow you again?”

Hux chuckled. “You’re never gonna let that go, are you? Well I guess since pneumonia isn’t contagious, you can kiss me, Prince Charmin.”

“Don’t you mean Prince Charming?”

“With all the bullshit you spew? I think I got it right the first time. Now do I get that kiss or what?”

Ben grinned, leaned over, and kissed his forehead, gently.

“Get some good rest, Hux. I’ll be back first thing in the morning.”

“Okay. Love you.”

“Love you,” Ben answered; and then he was gone.

Gone, but he would be back.

 _If it’s one thing in this whole world I can count on,_ Hux thought, smiling as he closed his eyes, _It’s that Ben will always come back for me._

— — —

“You can’t go. It’s raining, let me go.”

“The last time I sent you for chillies, you came back with peppers. BELL peppers at that. And you tried to tell me they were ‘the same thing’.”

“Well, aren’t they?”

“No, no, no,” Hux said, shaking his head. “There’s different textures, levels of heat and flavor ...”

“Okay but all that doesn’t change the fact that it’s raining, and you just got over being sick.”

“It’s been 3 weeks.”

Ben just sighed. It was a pain trying to argue with Hux, especially when he was determined to do something.

And today he seemed to be determined to finish the chili he had started in the kitchen. He had most of the ingredients chopped and in various stages of preparation, but had discovered that the jalapeños and red chillies he intended to use weren’t as fresh as he’d have preferred. So he wanted to go to the store and get new ones.

“I know it’s raining, but I’m just going to that store down the road. I won’t be gone more than half an hour.”

“But —“

“You like chili, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah. It’s only my favorite food ever. But I don’t like it enough for you to go out in a storm over.”

“There you go again with the dramatics. It’s not storming, it’s just a little rain. And I absolutely NEED those jalapeños, Ben; otherwise this whole pot will be bland as hell. You love spicy food, don’t you?”

“Damn, you don’t play fair, appealing to my stomach like that. Fine, go. But I’m not letting you out the door without your jacket AND an umbrella.”

Hux dressed the way Ben wanted him to, and then, his hand on the door, explained,

“Okay. I have the rest of the chili simmering. It’s on a super-low heat so it should be fine; just peek in the kitchen every now and then to make sure it’s not on fire or anything.”

“Will do,” Ben said, before kissing Hux’s cheek. “Hurry back.”

Hux was out the door with a wave, and Ben sat on the couch and picked up his book again. He wondered if it was too soon to get up and sneak a spoonful from the pot ... but no sooner did he have the thought than the doorbell rang.

Ben jumped up to answer it, thinking maybe Hux had forgotten his keys or something.

But it wasn’t Hux.

A young lady stood at the door, her jacket glistening from the rain outside. She was a small thing, with brown hair and hazel eyes, and fair-skinned. Ben couldn’t quite tell how old she was, but she didn’t seem much older than a teenager.

She stood in front of Ben, but it seemed as though she was having trouble speaking.

“Um ... hi. Can I help you, hun?”

“Uh ... I ... are you Benjamin Solo?”

Ben nodded. “That’s me. Do I know you?”

The girl shook her head, and for some reason, it seemed like she was about to burst into tears.

Ben was confused; what was going on?  
What should he do?

“It’s freezing out there,” Ben finally said, cautiously putting his hand on her arm. “Do ... do you want to come in?”

The girl nodded, so Ben gently pulled her inside. He told her to take off her wet jacket and to sit on the couch.

“Do you want some hot chocolate? I just made a pot a few minutes ago.”

She nodded again, and Ben quickly went to pour her a cup. He brought it in and sat it on the table in front of her, but before he could start asking her questions, the girl looked him in the eye and said, 

“I didn’t mean to barge in on you like this but, my name is Rey. Rey ... Solo. I think I’m your sister.”


	5. Chapter 5

Ben could feel all the color drop from his face, and he was thankful that he was already sitting down, otherwise he might have passed out.

“ _What_??”

“I ... my name is Rey Solo. My dad’s name was Han Solo. I think you’re my brother.”’

“Are ... are you sure you have the _right_ Han Solo?”

She nodded, and then she pulled a picture out of her purse and handed it to Ben. Ben took it with fingers that shook just slightly; in it, the girl (Rey) was wearing a blue graduation cap and gown. Next to her was a woman ... and although Ben hadn’t seen him in a good many years, there was no mistaking that the man standing on the other side of Rey was Ben’s father.

To add to the surrealities of the moment, Ben looked up at Rey and noticed for the first time that she had a carbon-copy of Han’s ((and Ben’s own)) eyes. Same wide shape, same crinkles around the edges, same color, same weird trait where the bottom lashes were longer than the top. 

“Jesus Christ,” Ben said, softly, not knowing what else to say. “Oh my God ...”

“W-we’ve kinda met before, a long time ago, you and me,” Rey said, timidly, pulling another picture out of her purse and holding it out to him. “See?”

Ben took it, and stared in disbelief. He remembered this day perfectly; his mother had gone to visit her brother up-state, and Han had Ben alone for about a week. This picture was taken when Ben was 8, approximately six weeks before Han left for good. The picture was at a backyard barbecue, at a friend of his dad’s. Ben was playing on a makeshift swing and slide set with some other boys his age, and Han was standing around the grill with some men ... and one lady. The lady was smiling at Han, and in her arms was a small, chubby-cheeked toddler, in a pink onesie outfit.

“That’s me,” Rey said softly, pointing to the baby. “Mom’s holding me, and that’s dad,” she said, pointing to Han. “I was about 1 years old here.”

When Ben still couldn’t find his voice, Rey went on to say, “I don’t know if you know this or not; but, dad died last month. Cirrhosis; his drinking caught up to him.”

Ben felt another wave of disbelief wash over him: Han was _dead_? He wasn’t even sure how to begin processing his feelings on that, so he put them on hold and asked,

“Does your mom know you’re here?”

Rey shook her head. “No. I ... I went through some of dad’s old boxes, and I found your name, and where you lived when you were a kid. I did some digging on the internet and I found your Facebook page. I was gonna send you a message but honestly, I wasn’t sure where to begin. I wouldn’t know what to say. But then I found your address and ...”

She paused, her face a dark red. “I’m sorry, I should have contacted you before coming over. But I just wanted to meet you so bad. I don’t have any other siblings and with dad dead ... I mean I know you didn’t really have ... and I don’t know what you think of my mother and I ... but I just ... I just ...”

Ben put both arms around her and hugged her as hard as he could. “Rey,” he said, tears in his eyes, “I’m so happy to meet you!”

“R-really?”

“I’ve always wondered whether I had any brothers or sisters. I’m so glad you’re here!”

Rey hugged him back fiercely, more tears leaking down her face.

They were still hugging when Hux came back, and Hux was a bit surprised at the unexpected house guest. Even more surprised (to put it mildly) when Ben explained who she was.

“I’ll be damned,” he said, softly, as he looked at the two pictures Rey had brought with her, and then closely at her and Ben. “Your eyes are the same,” he finally concluded, smiling. “We have to celebrate this; Rey, do you like chili?”

“Yes! It’s my favorite food in all the world!”

“Okay, now I’m sure of it, you ARE Ben’s sister. Well, then, you have to stay for dinner,” he proclaimed, before hurrying into the kitchen to continue his cooking.

“You’re in luck; Hux is in school to be a chef. Everything he makes tastes like heaven.”

Rey looked at Ben eagerly. “Does that mean I can stay?”

“Well, first of all, you need to call your mom and tell her where you are, kid.”

Rey’s eyes widened and she gasped.

“What’s wrong??”

“You ... you sound exactly like daddy, when you say ‘kid’,” Rey explained, her eyes tearing up again.

“You miss Han a lot, don’t you?”

“I do. I’m sorry I don’t want to upset you, but to ME, he was a good father. He was always there when I needed him.”

“It’s okay,” Ben told her, patting her back reassuringly. “I’m happy you got to have that.”

“I’m not sure if mom will let me ... I mean ...”

“Do you want me to call her for you? Maybe I can swing it so that you can stay the night, if you want. I mean, I know you just met me, but ... I’d really like to talk to you more.”

“I’d like that!”

“Okay,” Ben agreed, smiling as he held out the phone to her. “Here, dial her number for me.”

Rey did as asked, then handed the phone back to her brother. A woman picked up on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Um, hello,” Ben said, feeling awkward. “Uh, my name is Ben Solo. Han’s son. I just wanted to let you know your daughter came to see me. She’s still here. She said she didn’t tell you where she was going, and I didn’t want you to be worried.”

There was a long pause on the other end, and then, in a timid voice,

“Ben Solo? Little Ben? I — my names Kira. You probably don’t remember, but I met you a few times when you were a kid. How are you?”

“I’m doing alright. I’m calling because it’s getting dark and raining pretty hard and I don’t like the idea of Rey driving home in this weather. Would you feel okay about her staying here for the night? I live in a one-bedroom with my boyfriend, but we have a pull-out couch in our living room. I can text you my address so that you know where it is. I can also send a picture of me holding my ID, so you know I’m actually Ben, if you want.”

“You don’t need to do that. She has my permission. I ... I know this is awkward but I’m so glad she found you, Ben. I’ve wanted her to get to know her big brother for some time now.”

Ben smiled at that. This, was weird. He had expected to feel angry upon hearing this woman’s voice; after all, this was the woman that his father left him and his mother to be with. But all he felt was ... 

“I’m happy she found me, too. Do you want to talk to her?”

Kira said yes, and Ben handed Rey the phone while he got up and went into the kitchen, to give her some privacy. Hux was bent over a pot, busily adding ingredients to his chili.

“She’s going to stay the night, if that’s okay.”

Hux put down his spoon and went to Ben, hugging him. “Of course it’s okay! This ... I’m so happy for you, Ben! Remember when we were talking about doing that ancestry thing? And here _she_ came to _**you**_!”

“Hux ... I’m a little scared.”

“What? Why?”

“She ... she told me my dad died last month.”

Hux’s face fell, and he quickly put both arms around Ben. “Oh, baby ... I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

“I’m scared because I literally don’t feel anything at all about it. Is that normal? Is something wrong with me?”

Before Hux could answer, Rey called out “Ben?”, and Ben gently pulled out of Hux’s arms to go to her.

Dinner was festive. Besides the chili, Hux had also made Mexican cornbread , and roasted sweet corn. And he was glad he’d made so much ...

For being such a small girl, Rey certainly had her brother’s large appetite. Hux kept looking back and forth between the two of them while they ate and talked; they were so similar that it was unbelievable. The way they sat, the way they held their spoons, the way they both furrowed their brows when thinking of something ... absolutely amazing.

They found out that Rey had recently graduated high school, and, in the fall, was on her way to a school in California, on a full scholarship.

“So you’re that smart, eh?”, Ben asked, grinning. “I’m so proud of you! What do you want to study?”

“I’m not 100% on that, but I’m thinking something with graphic design. I really like to draw, and if I can, it’d be cool to make a career out of that. Maybe designing websites or something like that.”

“That’s a lot like what I want!”, Ben exclaimed, surprised. “I’m studying computer technology right now; in time, I want to be able to code my own programs, maybe create video games.”

“You both are clearly smart,” Hux commented, clearing the table. 

“So are you,” Ben said, jumping up to help Hux and kissing his cheek. “You’re making a career out of something you love, too; and you’re damn talented with it.”

“Can I ask ... how long have you guys been together?”

“Going on a year, next month,” Hux answered, smiling. 

“That’s it?? You both ... you give off a ‘married for 40 years’ vibe.”

Both of them blushed at that. 

“It would be great if it lasted that long,” Ben said, smiling. “I could definitely do with a few more decades of this cooking.”

“Agreed,” Rey said, patting her stomach. “That chili was ridiculously good. And I don’t think I’ve ever tasted cornbread like that. Can I help you both clean up?”

“Nope,” Hux said, waving her down. “You just sit there and get ready for dessert.”

“Dessert?”, Ben asked, loading the dishwasher. “When did you make dessert?!”

“Earlier. But don’t worry, it’s light: watermelon-blackberry sorbet,” he explained, taking it out of the freezer, where it had been soft-setting.

After dessert, the three of them stayed up far into the evening, playing cards, board games, laughing, and talking. Eventually Hux was worn out and he said his good nights, leaving Ben and Rey alone.

Together, the siblings talked until the early hours of the morning. Filling each other in on what they had missed in each other’s lives. Birthdays, holidays, school and jobs and relationships ... 

“Hux doesn’t know it, but he saved me,” Ben told her, softly. “I was depressed when I met him, and he pulled me right out of that.”

“That’s really beautiful,” she’d replied, patting his arm. “Everybody should be so lucky, to find something like what you guys have.”

And Rey was able to fill in some details for Ben about what Han had been like in his later years, which Ben was grateful for.

“He was kind of boring, actually,” Rey said, pursing her lips. “I mean after he got sick he started being home a lot. But he still had a pretty good sense of humor. But god, he told the worst, cringiest jokes ever. I hated having friends over because he’d follow us around telling joke after joke and then laughing like he was a comedic God. Like, okay; ‘What does a vegetarian zombie eat?’”

“What?”

“Graaaaains,” she replied, with a grimace.

Ben started to laugh. “Wait, that’s actually pretty funny! I’m gonna try that one on Hux tomorrow.”

Around 4am, Rey could barely keep her eyes open anymore, so Ben prepared the fold-out for her, making it as comfortable as possible with a plethora of extra-soft blankets and pillows.

He also leant her a pair of his sweatpants and a T-shirt to wear to bed, both of which were comically oversized on her.

“I’ve always wanted this,” Rey told him, softly. “I have a lot of friends who like to steal their big brother’s clothes, and I always wished I could do that, too.”

“Well, you’re welcome to ‘steal’ any clothes of mine that you want, Rey. Only you might want to wear a gas mask if you take any from off the floor; otherwise the toxic fumes will probably kill you.”

She chuckled, and Ben said, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been noticing this all night; sometimes, you have a little bit of an accent. Hux gets that sometimes too, and he doesn’t seem to know it’s happening. His parents are from Ireland, but yours doesn’t sound Irish. Is your mom like, British, by any chance?”

“Oh ... yeah. Kind of,” Rey said, blushing. “Mom’s parents are both from London. Mom grew up here in the states, but sometimes she would start talking like the both of them. I guess I do the same thing. Daddy always used to tease us about it; he’d say it was like living with two queens of England.”

“Well, I like it a lot. I don’t know what it is about foreign accents that just makes people sound smarter, but they do. And in any case, it’s better you picked up your accent from your mom, instead of Han’s burps and beer farts dialogue.”

They both laughed, and then Ben bent down and very gently kissed her forehead. “Goodnight, sis. I’ll see you in the morning.”

She was asleep almost before Ben had closed the bedroom door behind him.

He was as quiet as possible getting into bed, so that he didn’t wake up Hux. But as tired as he was, he continued to lay awake for quite some time, thinking ... about his father. And mother. And Rey.

Rey hadn’t been able to answer what had happened between his parents so long ago, because she didn’t know. The only two people who DID know were both dead. Except ...

“I wonder if Rey’s mother would be willing to talk to me,” he pondered to himself, softly.

Hux must have heard him, because he mumbled something and shifted in his sleep.

So Ben quickly closed his eyes, and went to sleep, himself.

— 

“Rey, what kind of food does your mom like? Something sweet?”

“Guys, seriously, you don’t need to —“

“If you don’t tell me, I’m gonna make something like prune danish.”

It was mid-morning, after breakfast, and, after talking with Rey about it, Ben had decided to follow her back to her home today, so that he could talk to her mother about their father.

“I just have a lot of questions,” Ben explained, quietly. “And I think she’s the only one who could answer them, you know?”

Rey had nodded and, after calling her mom, confirmed that she would be up for a visit.

Hux, of course, said that he would go with as well, and decided that it would help break the ice if they brought some type of food over to her (against Rey’s insisting that it wasn’t necessary).

Rey made a face and laughed. “Okay, um, she likes things with peaches in it.”

“Hm,” Hux said, the wheels in his head turning. “Would she like something like, peach upside-down cake?”

“What’s that?”

“Basically a smooth vanilla cake with sugar and honey, with a sliced peach and cherry topping and a thin layer of whipped cream in the middle.”

“I’ve never heard of something like that before. That sounds delicious!”

“Good. Then I’d better get to the store!”

“Okay, but I’m coming with then. You’ve got to let me pay for the ingredients, at least.”

“But you don’t —“

But Rey was already pulling on her jacket, and was halfway out the door. “No arguments. Let’s go!”

Hux chuckled and sighed. “This kid is almost as stubborn as YOU,” he said to Ben, pulling on his own jacket. “You coming?”

But Ben shook his head. “You guys go ahead. I’m gonna stay here and straighten up.”

Hux paused by the door. “Are you feeling okay? You were really quiet at breakfast.”

Ben nodded. “Yeah. Just tired, I guess. I was up talking with Rey ‘til almost 5, you know.”

Hux hesitated, as if he wanted to say something else; but he shook it off and, after blowing Ben a kiss, was out the door.

When he was gone, Ben flopped down on the couch, sighing.

While he was ready to meet Rey’s mom and ask his questions ... he was also _nowhere **near** ready_ to meet Rey’s mom and ask his questions. All he could do was picture his own mother’s worried face when Ben was a kid and money was tight, and he thought how much easier their lives would have been if he had been around to offer any kind of financial support ...

He sighed and forced himself to get up, occupying himself with small cleaning tasks. The key to today was to remain calm, and open-minded, and really listen to whatever it was that Rey’s mother would tell him.

Good advice, solid advice ...

... he just hoped that he could follow it, when the time came.

—

“Mom! We’re here!”

Ben’s heart was pounding out of his chest, but he was determined to go through with this.

A woman rounded the corner. She was short, like Rey, and had shoulder-length brown hair with mild streaks of white in it. Her eyes were a deep blue, like Hux’s, and she had her daughter’s freckles.

She stood in front of Ben, timidly, as if unsure of what to say.

“Ben. You — you’ve certainly gotten tall, since the last time I saw you. And handsome.”

“Thank you, um —“ he did a slight pause; he knew her proper title would be Mrs. Solo, but he couldn’t bring himself to call her that. Maybe she sensed this, because she hurriedly said, “You can just call me Kira.”

“Hi, I’m Armitage,” Hux said, extending his hand. “Ben’s boyfriend. We brought you something,” he said, gesturing to Ben who was carrying the cake.

“That’s so sweet!”, Kira exclaimed, taking the box from Ben. Ben noticed that her hands were shaking just slightly; was she as nervous about this meeting as he was? 

“Oh, Rey, before I forget,” Kira said, turning to her daughter, “You got a call from your school’s admissions office. There was some kind of mix-up with the dorm you signed up for, and they want you to call them as soon as possible to discuss it.”

Rey sighed. “Okay, I’ll do it now. I’ll be right back, guys!”, she said, before taking off up a set of stairs (presumably to her room).

Ben was glad, and hoped that her call would take a long time. It would be easier to speak freely to Kira without Rey sitting right there.

“I’ll go and cut us all some pieces of this cake,” Kira was saying to them now. “Do you boys like tea?”

“Very much so,” Hux replied, with a smile. 

Kira went off into the kitchen, and Ben and Hux sat gingerly on the couch.

“She’s nice,” Hux whispered to him.

Ben just nodded. There was so much going on in his head that words were a bit stilted for him.

Kira came back with three plates, then went out a second time, bringing out a teapot and 3 blue cups. 

“This is delicious,” Kira said, after taking a bite of the cake. “And I just love peaches. Where did you get this from?”

“Hux made it.”

“Really? Goodness, you’re talented. I’ll have to ask you for this recipe before you go.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

A somewhat awkward pause fell between the three of them, and then Kira ventured an observation:

“You know, you really have your dad’s eyes. Both you and Rey do.”

“So I’ve been hearing,” Ben replied, with a dry smile.

“Thank you, by the way, for being so hospitable to my daughter yesterday. I know it was probably strange having her just show up out of the blue, but she’s always been the impetuous type. A lot like your father that way.”

“It was no trouble. She’s a great kid. I’m glad we met.”

“Rey told me your mother died. I’m very sorry to hear it.”

Ben nodded. “Thank you. I’m sorry for YOUR loss as well.”

“We would have contacted you when he died, but your dad kept everything about you pretty close to his vest. I didn’t even know Rey was digging around in her dad’s old boxes, or that she’s found out about you.”

Here she smiled brightly and said, “I can tell you where he’s buried at, though. Maybe you’d like to visit his grave?”

Before Ben could stop himself, the words “I’d rather slit my throat first” slipped from his mouth.

“Ben!”, Hux exclaimed, somewhat horrified. “Don’t talk to her like that!”

“No, it’s alright, he has every right to be angry.”

“Maybe, but he doesn’t have the right to speak to you like that in your home. Ben, you need to apologize.”

“You’re right; I’m sorry. Kira, I’m not trying to disparage your loss, or your feelings. But you know what? The only thing I know is that one day my dad was there, and the next he wasn’t. And he never came back. He wasn’t there to teach me how to shave, how to drive, to give me a talk about sex or dating, he didn’t see me walk the stage at my high school graduation, or any of that. And the reason —“

“Ben,” Hux said, putting his hand on Ben’s arm.

“No, it’s alright; let him finish.”

“ — and the reason he wasn’t around was because he was here, with you. I’m thankful Rey exists, because she’s a sweet girl and even though I just met her yesterday, I already love her, but all these years of wondering what happened to Han ... yeah. It’s difficult.”

Everybody was silent for a few moments, letting Ben’s words linger in the air. Kira broke the silence by saying,

“I was so young when I met him. 17, just a little younger than Rey is now. I was working at a little diner up the road from my mother’s house. We used to get a lot of truckers. Han was one of those men. He’d stop in every few weeks, always sat at the same spot, always the same meal. He was ... quite handsome. An interesting person to talk to. I’d come over and sit with him on my breaks, and he’d tell me stories about the places he travelled to. I used to look forward to the times he’d be likely to show up more than anything else.”

“You were 17? Han would have been, er, about 25, 26 then? I know you say he was handsome and nice and all that but ... the wedding ring didn’t deter you?”

“He didn’t wear one; at least not when he came in. I know it’s probably difficult for you to believe but, Ben, I had no idea your father was already married when I met him. None whatsoever. He was upfront that he had a young son but he would always say ‘my kid with my ex’. If I had had any kind of clue that not only was he married, but —“

Here she paused, taking a long sip of her tea.

“Anyway, we started to date. He used to bring you with when he came to visit me sometimes. He’d tell me it was ‘his weekend’ with you. And you were the sweetest kid, Ben. Things were moving so fast, and before I knew it, I was expecting Rey. Around this time my grandmother died and left me this house. I spent weeks cleaning it, and dreaming about the life we’d have in it. Your dad and I would get married, there’d be a room for Rey, and one for you, for when your dad had you ‘on the weekends’.”

Here she stopped and shook her head, chuckling ruefully. 

“He was a charmer, your dad. An extremely smooth talker. Looking back I guess I should have realized things were wrong with the situation. His reasoning for why he was barely around was his work, doing those interstate hauls. Believable, but not the truth. I’m not trying to justify it but that must have been murder on him, living two lives like he was. Probably why his drinking got so out-of-hand, all of the stress.”

“So ... you really had no clue he was married?”

“I swear to God, I didn’t. By the time I learned the truth about your dad being married to your mom, he’d already gotten his divorce. As ridiculous as it sounds, I loved him, Ben. I was willing to forgive any and everything to be with him. And maybe that speaks to my young age, and immaturity. And for Rey ... I grew up without a father; I didn’t want that for her.”

“Did you know that he hadn’t just gotten a divorce from my mother, but that he disappeared from my life completely?”

“Not right away. I would ask about you all the time, but all your dad would tell me was that he’d lost custody of you completely in the divorce. He said that his ex, er, your mother, didn’t want him around you anymore. That she only agreed to the divorce on the condition that he never tried to see or contact you, for any reason. I ... I thought about calling your mother, myself. I was going to apologize for what had happened, and ask her if Han could start seeing you again, so that Rey could know her brother. I was going to ... but in the end, I didn’t have the guts for it. If the shoe had been on the other foot, I don’t know if I would have heard your mother out, about such a thing.”

“No; I suppose that would be hard for anybody.”

“It’s probably also hard to believe, but, your dad loved you to pieces,” she continued, softly. “Talked about you all the time. How smart you were, how handsome, how funny.”

Ben scoffed; he couldn’t help it slipping out. “How would he know anything about what I was like? He wasn’t around. For all he knew I could have been a thief and a junkie.”

Here Kira smiled. “He has your uncle Luke to thank for that.”

“Huh?”

“Your uncle Luke. He would send your dad long, looong letters about you. He’d tell Han about your grades, the sports you played, just little things about what was going on with you. He’d send pictures, too. We must have a whole box in the attic just full of your pictures.”

Ben sat quietly for a bit, mulling that over.  
“Why would Luke do that?”

“Han told me that he and Luke had been friends long before he ever showed interest in your mother. Apparently that friendship carried on even after they split up,” Kira explained. “Luke wanted your dad to know that you were okay. And I have to say, I think he was right. You’ve grown into a fine young man, and that may not have been possible, had things turned out differently.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your dad, you know, he was a good man in a lot of ways, but his drinking and gambling were something else. He cleaned himself up as best he could with us, but it wasn’t perfect. Nobody’s perfect. I think one of the reasons your mother decided to divorce him was because she made it clear she didn’t want that kind of behavior around YOU, and at the time, he wasn’t mentally in a position to take her seriously. And like I said, I guess that speaks to our ages. I was a naive young girl, your mother was an older, smart woman who knew what she wanted and what she deserved. But whatever problems we had, he was an excellent father to Rey. She was his princess. And ... I think maybe that’s the reason he never told her about you. I think he thought that if she knew the ugly truth about his past, he’d lose that hero status he always had in her eyes.”

Before Ben could respond to that, Rey came back down the stairs, balancing a large cardboard box in her arms.

“I thought you might want to look through this,” she explained, as she set it on the table. “There’s a ton of stuff about you in it.”

And she was right. Ben slowly went through the box, pulling out item after item about himself. He find the letters Kira had been talking about, from his Uncle Luke. He found countless photographs of himself, at various ages. First days of school, first day of his first job, standing in front of the first car he ever bought. Prom photos, birthday parties, a picture of Ben and his mother on his graduation day.

Something that Ben pulled from the box made him smile. It was a small children’s watch, a horribly tacky novelty item, plastic band, cracked face with a picture of the Gremlins in the center. Bright, gaudy colors that only a child could love.

“Oh my God, I remember this,” Ben said, softly. “Dad took me to a carnival once when I was about five. You know that game where you have a bunch of ping pong balls and you try to throw them into all the buckets?”

“Yeah,” Hux said, smiling. “They used to play that game on the Bozo the Clown Show. I remember.”

“Well on my first try I missed all the buckets. Like every single one. But then dad paid again, and he crouched behind me, took my arm, and guided me. Hit every target. This was the prize. I used to wear this everywhere. I’d go around telling people the wrong time and continually winding the dial. I thought I lost this ... I had no idea he had it.”

“You’re welcome to have it,” Kira said, with a smile. She got up and went into her bedroom, then came out a few seconds later with a small gold object, which she dropped into Ben’s hand.

“Maybe ... you’d like this, as well? He wore this all the time, on a chain around his neck; I’m not positive but I believe it may have been his wedding band from when he was married to your mother.”

Ben nodded, and slipped it over his finger. It fit.

Before long, Ben was ready to leave. The day had been an emotional one for him, and he felt more than a little tired.

“Thank you for being so gracious, Kira,” he said, as he and Hux prepared to go. “I know this can’t have been easy, but ... I appreciate this look into my father. It means a lot to me.”

Kira nodded, then very timidly put her arms around Ben, hugging him. 

“Your dad would have been so proud of the man you are. Your mother too,” she told him when she let go. “Please, don’t be a stranger. You and Hux are welcome back here anytime.”

“I can’t be a stranger now,” Ben said, grinning. “Me and Rey have a lot of things to do this summer, before she runs off to college. Right, kid?”

“Damn right we do,” Rey replied, hugging first Hux, then Ben. “Are we still on for the beach next weekend?”

“We sure are. Just to warn you, though; both Hux and I are as pale as ghosts in the sun, so don’t be scared when you see us. Especially Hux.”

“And you should know that if you decide to wear a bikini or anything like that, Ben will likely be standing in front of you with his death glare, scaring off any boys that may try to talk to you.”

“Good!”, Kira said; and then everybody laughed.

The drive home was quiet for a good while, with Hux in the driver’s seat and Ben beside him.

“You feeling okay?”, Hux finally asked, breaking the silence.

Ben smiled, reached over, and took his free hand, giving it a squeeze. “I feel better than I have in a long, long time.”

And he did.

He didn’t know if he’d ever fully forgive his father for his mistakes, but now he felt more at peace with Han’s choices.

And Kira had made a good point: Ben HAD turned into a good man. Not perfect, by any means, but one that he could be proud of, the way his dad would have been proud of him.

The way Ben KNEW that his mother was proud of him.

And most important of all, he was the kind of man that the one sitting next to HIM was in love with.

And what could be better than that?

“I’m so glad. I was a little worried about how this day might go, but it looks like everything turned out for the best. And Rey is just so — so —“

“I know; she is.”

“I mean, I know me and you aren’t married or anything, but I feel like **I** just gained a little sister, too.”

“Hm. Maybe it’s time we changed that ‘not married’ thing,” Ben mumbled, twisting his father’s ring around his finger.

Hux glanced over at him. “Did you say something?”

Ben smiled and shook his head. “Just your imagination, babe. Let’s hurry and get home; there’s a bowl of leftover chili in the fridge that’s calling my name.”

“Won’t be the only thing calling your name if you play your cards right,” Hux said softly, grinning.

“Huh? You say something?”

“Nope. Just your imagination. But you’re right, let’s hurry and get home,” Hux replied.

“Fine with me. By the way, Hux; what do vegetarian zombies eat?”


End file.
